Wouldn’t he have to be present to hold the job? They’d get even less done since he lives on the golf course.

And clipart.

That protruding cabinet at the top of the stairs is for the bowl everyone tosses their keys into at the beginning of the party.

Saved by the Bong.

As a firebird owner I can attest to having to get used to it. But the sound makes it worth it.

Well if the shoe fits...

Estate sale beauty!

Get out your I Did That stickers!

Sounds like a good time to start investing in speed, ‘cause there ain’t a repo man I know that don’t take speed.

That top pic is a proper martini. 

That eagle could see into the future.

It’d really be easier if we swapped state status between them and Puerto Rico. Everyone wins! Except Texas.

If he had an EZPass, he’d still be alive.

I had a friend who was a sheriff for a while. They used the dilation excuse so often that they printed up little cards that said ‘Pupil Dilation Chart’ that they’d whip out to scare people.

Keep a cane in your car so they can’t deny knowing about a physical disability.

It’s almost as if I’ve offended SF’s unhinged leftists

My favorite go-to when I need to watch test pits dug in the mud and people getting unreasonably excited about changes in soil color.

Dark Shadows and Bone

Sure, but if you wait long enough it goes full circle and it’ll be a peaceful oasis, covered in daisies, and nothing but flowers.

Welcome to the 21st century, where people who likely consider themselves “progressives” attempt to recreate an environment from the 1950s and early 60s,