‘Personally, I like the excitement of balls flying at me without notice and dodging or taking them in the face, neck, etc.’ - a sadistic sex addict that has no regard or care for their own meaningless life

+1,000

I’ve sat behind the screen behind home plate years ago and I think it starts out as a very minor nuisance and you stop noticing it is there after about 5 minutes.

I can’t be the only one who read this in Danny Devito’s voice.

That’s a thing of beauty.

Dude...fuck yeah.

Spider webs too. I can follow my wife step by step through the woods, and I’ll still get the full face of sticky fiber goo and the extra terror of a spider being on me that I can’t see. :(

Can confirm, am 6'3". I have to hunch a bit to clear basement stairways and some ceilings. Working a lot down there gives me neck pain.

Get two, one to eat, one to shave with

They give out a free cuppa whip cream. They call it a “pupachino” but you don’t even hafta have a dog with you. Just tell ‘em it’s outside, bam, free whip cream.

He’s a disgusting person, the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

Exactly. Sometimes you saw off a log so formidable it would be selfish to keep it to yourself. A friend will understand it, and a good friend will appreciate it.

I want to be disgusted and say you are an awful person, but I also know that you’re right. 

MSG will always sell out, tragically.

“Yo bruh Mitch on Kinj talkin shit. Gonna needya dig it all up. Lemme know how broke he is.”

Eric B gonna be checkin out Belichick’s background history

Yeah, that’s where I landed on it, too. His standup stuff didn’t wow me, but it was perfectly competent and polished. Everything else suggests that he’s just kind of a turd, though. I don’t think the show can be saved, really, but he sure wasn’t going to help.

so does god

I still maintain that you can absolutely tell offensive jokes if they’re actually fucking funny, which is like 99% of the problem with comedians.

It’s disturbing, if sadly not surprising, how many comedians are circling the wagons around that chud like they’re somehow the victims.