just get some foam and you’re good to go.

I’ve never paid to go to a Cubs game but I’ve been to four of them. One of those was a rooftop that I won tickets for. Nobody was watching the Cubs/Pirates(?) game because it was the first Sunday of football season and the Bears game was playing on the TVs. I think the Cubs lost 2-0 but the Bears whupped the shit out…

Revved up cause it's juiced

It’s a bit of a reach, but I’ll allow it. There’s only so much to work with when making puns with some bands.

I see what you did here. +1 

Hey, her implants look pretty good in her nude lesbian photo shoot, thank you very much! (Could we get some more recent pics of her fake boobs?)

That boy signs on and is reminded that 95% of the free world hates his father and his entire extended family, and if that’s not enough, the poor thing can’t even relieve a little stress because if he goes on a porn site, he’s at risk of seeing his mom’s cooter and subpar implant placement.

I wonder if Trump paid for her boobs to not be as bad as they were in those old photos. Because, man, discount plastic surgery is always a poor decision.

I hate myself for laughing this hard at your comment, and salute you. +1 stare into the abyss.

Oh my god, that was amazing.

Haven’t laughed this hard in a while. You do good work. Well done.

This is fantastic

Goddam.

12th level Master Kinjatsu-ing right here folks. 

Pretty much.

Noted.

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

Lessee, why did I stop watching football?

I’m disgusted by how right you are.

i have effectively stopped my wife from cooking for me for this reason after she once made me an omelet with using about a tenth of millisecond’s worth of a spray of pam into the pan as the cooking oil, whereas i’d use two sticks of butter. and she wonders why when i cook for her the food is actually enjoyable