Hey, I think this is a good idea, so how about you go find something to do

Nah, because that story never happened.  When will the trail of lies end

When I was younger I had a friend whose dad only had 1 foot and he would tell people that his dad lost his foot to frostbite climbing mountains and all the other kids thought that was so cool.  Fuckin guy had diabetes.

Should have turned

no

whoever says it the most is having an affair.  will bet you $5 that family is destroyed within 2 years

When the baby talk ends and you realize you were just using it as a cute cover for your relationships real problems, you two will break up, or you’ll get married and the baby talk will get more and more sarcastic and undermining and she’ll leave you while you sleep because you were never really a man to her and she…

I wasn’t allowed to watch it until 1994

just like wahlberg 

more people should have seen Jurassic World, it was a worldwide sensation

i would prefer to only talk about friendly raptors

See, it’s funny because it’s a play on words and also a nod to a beloved movie character who teaches us that not all Raptors are just man eating monsters, but sometimes our greatest allies against man’s true enemy; the idominus Rex. If our treasured Blue does go bad and hurts a good character or a dog in Jurassic…

More like “The Raptors Blue It”, in reference to the Raptor named Blue in the delightful most recent sequels to Steven Spielberg’s 1994 blockbuster Jurassic Park.   

“Frankly, a real leader would have been able to stop me from kicking her 7 year old son in the chest and would have blocked my elbow before it collapsed her husbands windpipe.  Not my type of leader, that’s not someone you follow into battle, especially when you don’t even defend yourself when my husband Jerramy spits…

2 hours.  90 minutes if you have a great lie and 75 if no one is looking

Left Ear, because I make stronger “jerk off” motions with my right arm.  

God took away Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper, and Ritchie Valens, so we could have Samer and The Deadspins

Was already wearing a helmet. Fear of epilepsy

I wear one. Hides my lack of ass

I disagree.