I am very invested in my job. Several typos that were almost immediately fixed don't really speak to how invested I am in my job or not. The fact that I have this blogging format downloaded onto every one of my electronic devices to write stories as quickly as possible if/when they break? Maybe a little more so. All…

Healthy weight loss is far too slow for a tv show.

I really like you, Mark. But I have a red pencil here that is just dying to correct all these typos.

My business ShipYourEnemiesToAbuDabi.com got shut down and three of my employees got arrested for kidnapping. Go figure.

+1000000000000000000 internets

a weeping willow because it was so awful that I cried

what kind of tree

I have a friend that just moved to California from Australia. He made my try a flat white and it tasted like a licking a tree.

To paraphrase Alan Moore, that just means you're still sane. Who knows, or even really should care what these killers feared?

What the French Far Right want is to oppress and isolate the Muslims and immigrants (and this gives them the perfect rationale for furthering their cause). And what the Muslim extremists want is for the Muslims to be oppressed and isolated, because that radicalizes the population and turn them into eager Al-Qaeda…

This whole thing is just... the fact that it is literally not illegal to say something doesn't mean that we need to praise the people who say them. I'm not really here for "satire" that pokes fun at marginalized communities. And obviously, whatever I might think of offensive satire the penalty should never be summary…

Juan Cole— most famous for being correct about pretty much everything during the Bush administration's persecution of the Iraq War— suspects that this is far less about satire or the press than it is about simply setting French Muslims against French non-Muslims.

I think Ross Douthat, of all people, actually had the best response to this:

You should read about what Charlie Hebdo actually wrote and drew. They satirized all religions and in fact, their latest cover was a satire on an anti-Islamic book written by a Frenchman.

I've been thinking about this all day. I'm a writer and when I think of how these people were trying to do their jobs, to draw attention to things in the world that weren't right and needed to be exposed, it terrifies me. I just keep thinking of their families, who are now missing a loved one, and also my wife who…

can i say (with the obvious caveats that this was a horrible tragedy), the rush of so many news outlets to praise the work of Charlie Hebdo seems weird to me? Because I'm not really cool with supporting hateful imagery in the guise of "satire" or whatever the fuck they thought they were doing.

<Cries into a thermos monogrammed K.D.*> That was beautiful.

LAUNDRY detergent? How does anyone even...?

I DON'T LIKE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.

"Sign me right the fuck up. Not only are oatmeal-raisin cookies delicious while lulling you into a false comfort that you're eating something healthy (haters to the left), but yogurt chunks make anything better. I am ashamed to admit that when I had a hamster, I would sometimes eat her yogurt chunks because they were…