Cats would never do this to anyone— they just don't have the attention span. This is why I will marry my cat and live happily ever after.

Different writers have different viewpoints. If you look at that post, you'll see me disagreeing with her sob story in the comments.

I wonder why this guy gets ridiculed in the article while the girl who was charged $300+ on Halloween (and her birthday) was to get our sympathy. Granted, she gave us a few more details (that she couldn't pay her rent because of the Uber bill) and got lots of donations to cover the cost. Does it merely come down to…

Disappointed that "pearl scrunchie" isn't a euphemism.

Kendall's hijab would be considered fast-fashion/H&M level to many, many Dubai women. Kendall is cute and all but she has nothing on women in that part of the world with "real" money. I thought I knew what wealth was before visiting my friend who was working in Dubai. I live a very comfortable life in NYC but in…

Just love your kids.

Hm, not that impressive. Two better revenge stories:

it is ridiculous (but also genuinely helpful for me in my continual quest to understand the lovely trashworld of the internet) that your imaginary idea of this website is that we are necessarily and always either "WE HATE WOMEN" or "WE HATE MEN"

first things first I'm the—

Kreayshawn's pharmacist could beat Inkbox Andouille in a freestyle battle.

Oh god my mouth is permanently curled up from all the cringing.

I'm crying at my desk right now. "Iggy iggy bo biggy" got me weak as fuck.

And end to the high rates of incarceration do to non-violent drug crime and an emphasis on rehabilitation over penalization for criminal offenders.

I refused to get married pregnant so we waited until our kid was 5 months old (still hitched 19 years later!). My MIL was so upset because she said our kid would feel weird at school not having married parents. Jokes on you MIL— he feels weird at school FOR having married parents. And our 9 year old asked us today to…

HIGH FIVE! We are LITERALLY magnificent bastards.

Whatever, Children of Parents Who Were Never Married win this round. Bastard fo' life.

What is this small child doing in this highly sexualised ad? Keep those mistletoe comments away from my baby.

Why are so many old things terrifying? Did Americans back then really not understand the notion of what today we'd call "kawaii"?

That is one Macauley Culkin-looking* motherfucker on the cover there.

*circa Home Alone

Jezebel Basic