Welcome to the hell that parents of sons have lived in for decades. See? Progress!

Hate the game, not the player!!

I’m gonna try to be gentle here. I invite you to re-read your comment and then ask yourself if there’s anything ironic or problematic in it.

2o years later, my other brother and I finally told my dad. He knew the exact day we were talking about, laughed so hard he had to take off his glasses, and thanked us for not telling him a minute sooner.

Winner

My son did something similar when he was a child. As a toddler, he was attacked by a dog. This left him with significant facial scars. He hated the questions from adults & kids. I get kids being curious but adults should know better. It was hard on him and he didn’t know how to respond. He really just wanted to be…

Created this burner to share a secret I’ve kept to myself for many years.

this is my new favorite crime

Ok I have one, I once pretended to be getting a post graduate teaching degree to my mother for 2 years. So originally I was going to do this degree and then I failed the mental health check because I was/am a mess. I couldn’t face telling my mother because a) she is an exhausting schizophrenic nightmare of a person…

I always lie about my profession to strangers. I’m actually a scientific advisor to policy makers in an extremely politically charged environmental issue, so EVERYONE has an opinion about my work and I generally don’t want to get it into it (especially with people I’m never going to see again, like on a plane). I like…

I’m the same way, although not solely by nature. I was raised by two people who were so unfailingly deceitful I told my husband when I met him, “Every word out of my mother’s mouth is a lie, if not factually, then emotionally,” and when he saw it for himself he was gobstopped. I made the choice to be transparent and…

When I was a junior in college at UCLA, I was working my shift at the Cooperage cafeteria and in completely uncharacteristic fashion, I chatted up a super hot guy who came to order some pizza. I boldly asked for his phone number, which he scribbled on a five dollar bill. He struck me as charmingly eccentric.

Back in the late 1970's, there was a boy named David all over the news with some immune disease where he had to live in an enclosed bubble. He was thus known as, “David the Bubble Boy” and was even played in a movie by a young (and less cult-like) John Travolta.

I was 8 and I’d gotten locked out of my house (this was back in the early 90's when you could be an 8 year old latchkey kid and no one cared). Hey Dude was on and I really wanted to see the next episode, so I tried all the windows to find one that would be unlocked. Unfortunately I couldn’t get to the windows because…

I told a small lie on a resume that then became a complicated lie.

Back before I was sober I dated a guy for two years who was bright but not very educated. I told him I was half French and kept up with it, even speaking fake French when I got super drunk. The guy was emotionally abusive and got physical on a few occasions so I think it was my quiet act of rebellion. Or I'm a…

One night, I hired a couple friends to help stage a needlessly elaborate hoax to generate public sympathy.

Omg, as I read through these, I remembered mine. I was in middle school and this was during the heyday of AIM. My teenage brain thought it would be a grand idea to pretend to be someone else on AIM and get a boy in my class to fall in love with her. I pretend to be Katie, the friend of an actual friend of mine, who…

I once successfully rented an apartment for incalls using the most insanely complex series of Google Voice numbers (for my “references” and “place of work”), fake accents (see previous notes), randomly googled sample SS number, and a horrifically bad fake name.

Once I met a guy at a bar and commented that it was my first time at that particular bar and I hadn’t heard about it before then. His friend was like, “How can you not know about this? Everyone knows this bar!” so I lied and said I’d just moved to town a couple weeks earlier because I didn’t want to seem lame. But I…