If someone wants to cut out a couple more calories, that’s their deal. I just don’t care and I don’t see why anyone else would either. I don’t think pizza blotting is a big enough deal to write a demented article about....but this is taking my mind off the shooting in Oregon.

What, and not eat pizza? What kind of monster are you!?

I’ll blot my pizza if it’s really greasy because I just don’t like grease. I’m not some health nut, and I don’t think I’m superior. I just don’t like pools of grease.

So, you don’t want to feel judged, but you hate people who do that?

It’s rude to tell me how to eat my pizza.

I like to pour the grease off into a separate container, drink the grease, and throw the pizza away.

Fuck it, I don’t want a mouth full of grease/oil. That’s why I blot that bad boy, not because I want to delude myself into beleiving I’m some how saving myself calories.

No one thought she’d come, she hates my mother (no one knows why, my guess is jealousy) but my Grandmother didn’t want to give her a reason to claim she was left out.

YES! Thank you for pointing that out. I was like “oh, yeah, this is normal crazy family member stuff. WHOA! Bro!” But maybe he was younger and drunk...maybe.

I’m rather proud of this. So she had been telling everyone about this idea and made a big production of approaching me during a family gathering and getting me to agree we needed to honor my GF (more than we already were with a picture, flowers, and a toast) and suggests the plant a tree during the ceremony idea. So I…

I don’t know how old dear brother is, but dude should know better.

Let’s keep this simple. Was there booze? Good wedding.

...flew her crazy, estranged and uninvited 19 year-old daughter up from FL...

I was going to say...

Thank you. Honestly I haven’t mentioned before this post how much it annoyed me (other than bitching with my spouse) because it felt like I was overreacting, so getting some commiseration here makes me feel a little less psycho about it.

Not having to wrestle a damp, naked guy? Good wedding.

Your wedding sounds goddamned delightful. I want to start a service where, if you know you have to invite someone awful, you invite me and I glare at them and eat the food and gush about how good it is to you. Like a designated mourner, but for weddings.

I went to her blog to see what her deal was, and she’s the type of person who had TWO pre-wedding photo shoots and an engagement photo shoot. We get it, girl, you like to look at yourself. Typical narcissist, can’t figure out why everyone else isn’t as image-obsessed as they are.

There’s been a Worst Wedding Ever, which I’m sure has plenty of tales about terrible guests, but no Pissing Contest specific to terrible wedding guests.

Major dick move from a garbage human? Yes. But I’m not sure she qualifies for the title of The Worst Wedding Guest in the World.