“some sort of horrible experience together, something really unpleasant and frustrating.”

As long as people are fed and watered appropriately and not made to stand in sweltering heat/cold/rain, you’re fine. Someone will always find it within them to criticize something, but those are the basics to keep in perspective.

Even thinking about planning and paying for a basic cookie-cutter wedding is pretty overwhelming. There’s the venue rental, food and drink, cake, photography, music, clothing/hair/makeup, flowers, decorations, invitations, the person to marry you, rings, honeymoon, etc. The fact that people are adding more stuff like…

That is fitness! People there are definitely into lifting, but they also talk about running, climbing, cycling, yoga, etc.

That is the one thing that drives me nuts about progressives... we can never celebrate progress of any kind without pointing out how it is not good enough.

There is one called "xxfitness" which is awesome. It's very supportive and there are guys on there but none of them are douches.

Yeah I’m also working all weekend while my husband visits his family. I like his family but I don’t want to spend all weekend with them. Tonight I had a frozen lasagna and a big glass of wine and am ignoring the massive sinkful of dishes in the kitchen and basking in glorious alone time.

Yeah, Daya was pregnant for like 3 years haha.

Were these people all the same age? Even without kids, your average 30-year-old's metabolism is shitter than a 20-year-old's metabolism, and most people aren't married at 20 years old.

People wanting me to acknowledge my decisions as rooted in patriarchy is assuming I don’t understand their origins which is horribly condescending.

Wtf are you talking about? You asked what people meant when they say they just want to enjoy being engaged instead of answering questions. You seemed to think that people like being engaged only because they get lots of attention. I was merely pointing out that many people don’t even like being the center of attention…

The reasons behind your decisions as an individual might not be sexist, but that doesn't change the fact that these traditions are rooted in sexism. If you want to take your husband's name because it makes your stepdaughter feel more secure, then great, do it... but that's not why the tradition was started in the…

At least there is variety in those questions, lol. After I got married everyone asked the same question over and over again: “how’s married life?” I never really knew how to answer that because we got married after 10 years so literally nothing changed. I don’t know how anyone answers that question. Even if you didn't…

Plenty of people manage to ask those questions before getting engaged. You are not more "realistic" than people who got married.

I think the enjoyment of being engaged is being able to sit next to your partner and say "omg we're getting married!" and feel warm, fuzzy feelings of excitement. It's nice to let that sink in before stressing out over the actual wedding planning. A lot of people do like the attention from others, but many of us do…

haha exactly. If you can sing then you’re probably not running fast enough and then you're adding to your laundry for nothing!

But you have a safety net. If something really bad happened to you, your parents would help you, right? I also think a lot of well-off people who fancy themselves self-sufficient don't realize the extent of the the life chances they've gotten just from knowing how to act around other people in their class.

Yup, and if my name doesn't truly belong to me because I got it from my dad, then it doesn't truly belong to my brother either, so he should be just as expected/willing to change it when HE gets married.

I’m not having kids but if we did, the first one could have his name and the second could have my name, or vice versa. I had a coworker who did that with her two children and it seemed to work out totally fine.

haha I'm actually channeling my coworker right now. My own mother doesn't really pester me about kids, thankfully, but this coworker is really, really invested in my reproductive future.