haha I don’t think it sounds bad, except for being expensive. I did not register (did not even think we would get gifts because we were already married and this was just the party that our families were gunning for), but I remember my coworkers were asking about what I wanted for gifts and I was like “uhhhh nothing? I…

I hate it when those things take up a whole weekend. They are so much more expensive and I don't want to have to do that shit for 2 days anyway. What is wrong with having people over for supper and then going to get drinks or do some other activity on ONE night and then everyone goes home if they want? If you have…

I'm trying to post a picture of wacky waving arm-flailing inflatable tube man, but I keep getting kinja'd. Testing to see if this will work...

I'm pretty sure most people get mad at both cheaters, not JUST the "other wo/man." If I had a momentary lapse of decency and slept with someone else's husband, I'd feel like a rotten piece of shit and there would be no "but *I* didn't make a promise to her" excuses.

If she was lying about her pregnancy then the C-section appointment was probably made up too.

Yeah my coffee is either whatever they make at work or whatever my husband makes at home, with a little bit of sugar and some soymilk. I really could give no fucks.

Ugggh, coffee snobs, right?!?

I mean... don't animals eat it because they don't want some bloody, smelly organ laying around attracting predators?

In middle school I used to put my hair in a ponytail and gel only the... not-pony part. Also not pretty.

In my school, the seniors each got a half-page to fill with pictures and quotes and whatnot. I didn’t have any pictures of myself to use so I left my half blank except for an Andy Warhol quote: “I never think that people die. They just go to department stores.” Apparently, family members of some of my classmates…

Yeah when I was around 22 or 23 I started working 3 jobs so I never slept, and the job I spent the most amount of time at involved a lot of sitting around. I had no time for exercise or to plan/prep healthy meals, and I have never been very good at avoiding snacks. I gained 20 pounds and felt like shit all the time.…

LOL

Uggh, dumbass! It's called an eariod. Get with the program!

It's a small cup made out of soft silicone, and you stick it in your vagina and it collects all the blood and then at the end of the day you dump it out. It's really comfy. And reusable for years— it costs like 30 bucks so it basically pays for itself pretty quickly. Plus it's better for the environment, no risk of…

Hello. Here we are again in a Jez article about periods!

Whenever I have a cold I always vow to invent mini tampons for the nose, so they can absorb all the snot without irritating the hell out of your skin, but not disintegrate like a piece of tissue. In my head I call them nare-pons.

I used to have a tin that fit the tampons without applicators, and I was equally proud of it. It was the size of an altoids box but it had a picture of a cartoon girl and boy holding hands, with hearts over their heads. I was so sad when I lost it.

He offered to ditch his pregnant girlfriend for her. So romaaaaaaaantic...

The stories are all SO GOOD! Better than I expected. They should have a hard time picking the winners out of this one.

I should fill this out in case they ever decide to have a WTF Weddings edition. I realized this after the first question, “How did you meet and start dating?” and remembered that we met senior year of high school at a mutual friend’s party. I was intrigued by his white boy dreads (current me: “ewww NO”). There was a…