At last, evidence that you should always bring Spears to a knife fight.

YOU'RE TRYING TO RUIN IT BUT YOU CAN'T. CAUSE ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS GRILL UP THAT BUG AND SERVE IT WITH BUTTER.


MMM-MMMM. BUTTERED SEA BUGS.

Schmativan.

Apparently we don't get it because we are fat and poor. Or at least that's what I was to old when I posted that on the mommy board. :).

I am fucking dying at my desk.

Those.


Can't you read, motherfucker?

"She tourniquets her arm at the elbow with an ice pick and towel, washes the blood off, puts the offending knife onto the gas fire, heats it to a nice brick red and...wait for it...cauterize her own arm."

In her spare time, the chef from David's story enjoys Russian Roulette, eating glass, and arm-wrestling silverback gorillas during their mating season.

Depending on where you get it, it can actually be not that great. It's really more of a melted butter delivery vector than actual quality foodstuff in its own right. If you just get some imitation crabmeat and melt some butter for dipping, you'll get a rough amalgam of a cheap lobster dinner.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you the tale of Saint Basil Fuckoff, the patron saint of waiters and bartenders.

I'm so conflicted. I'm just gonna stay with what I feel is the most strong and betray my hipster tendencies and go with a heeellllloooo there and perhaps a haaaaaaaaayyyyy boo.

That is when you know you have made it big.

Wow...you guys are bitches of the highest order. The sexy comes from the shot of him tearing up when his DAD is praising him. God, you people are made of stone. This gay girl would bang him on emotions alone.

I remember being very confused when I was younger when my mom explained that Michael Keaton's real name was Michael Douglas and that he couldn't use it because there was already a Michael Douglas, and I just kept thinking, But Michael Douglas is so OLD and icky and Michael Keaton is so much hotter, and then I saw A…

Can someone explain the appeal of Jeremy Renner? As far as I can see, he has a face like a potato and constantly looks like he might be wearing eyeliner, but it is never as attractive as the emo-band lead singers of my youth.

Stretched out Ted Danson?

Here's my dilemma... Those songs that Douglas wrote are indeed terrible and yet somehow the fact that he wrote them makes him hotter. Hellooooo indeed.

Wow, Michael Keaton's pretty good at making younger versions of himself.

Yeesh, it's like a clown runs that place.