This actually happened, this year.

Fandom aside, this was easily the best baseball game I’ve ever watched, and somehow, the Cubs didn’t lose this game. Which, what? I really don’t know what to say other than I’m happy we did this and Holy Shit.

I am going to go scream inconsiderately and cry tears of joy and drink…

Citywide overnight moratorium on murderin’ in Chicago just announced!

He was talking about his preference for starting a game rather than pitching as a reliever

I’m going to change my name to “3-1 lead”. Im going to get blown so much more.

Aww someones mad. Why you mad bro?

Will today’s celebrating/shootings/lockups cause so many voters to miss their chance to vote Tuesday that it sways the election? Trump gets elected and the curse of the Billy goat affects the whole nation.

No.

Human Sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria.

“ do not be angry with the rain; it simply does not know how to fall upwards”

I live on the Southside and it sounds like Afghanistan outside. It was worth staying up late!

EVERYONE GRAB TWO OF EACH ANIMAL AND RUN FOR THE HILLS, THE END IS NIGH, ARMAGEDDON HAS COME, JUDGMENT DAY IS UPON US, THE APOCALYPSE IS HERE.

I hope this replaces the butt slap forever.

Hey did anybody see Francona spit out that huge wad of gum? He started twitching and then shoved some cigarette butts in his mouth

Ding dong the pitch is dead.

Great game so far, from a neutral point of view. Cheers to whoever takes over the trophy from my Royals this year. Cheers to 2017.

Deadspin is absolutely obsessed with penis. It’s almost like the staff is gay.

This is the most entertaining basketball.

Not basketball, but relevant.

It’s ok, they’ll just ask Jesus for forgiveness right before they die.