Thank you!

My turn! It was perfect.

you useless cunts know why.

I’ll hold your purse while you throw some punches. I hate the cake smashing tradition and make my opinion clear when I made the cake.

I plan to tell my future groom that I will annul the marriage immediately if he tries that crap. It’s disgusting.

So much nope in that. I would have literally punched someone in the goddamn face. I paid so much to get my makeup done and even got airbrush foundation (which always makes me break out) if someone even attempted that I would have had a full scale meltdown.

My aunt Bonnie’s second wedding was a small affair in Lake Tahoe. Her cake was from a chain grocery store, which, since it was located Tahoe, did regular wedding cake business and had a pretty large bakery section. My aunt’s fiancé, Steve, picked up the cake the morning of the wedding and came back to the cabin we…

I have spent the past several years demonstrating to his family that I am a no-fun uptight WASP, so, assuming they’re sober, I’m hoping they won’t try anything. If they’re drunk, though ...

I fear a different kind of cake disaster.

My wedding itself was a disaster, thanks to mommy dearest. Since the big wedding plans got cancelled, we were going to elope with just our photographers - we ended up inviting a few family members. ANYWAY. We went to a cupcake store while we were taking our pictures before we got married/met up with everyone, and…

Cheesecake over here! Cheesecake is my favorite, and my grandma made the most amazing super creamy cheesecake with sour cream on top. It is a must at any family gathering and I was the one she gave the recipe to before she died. A good friend of mine makes an identical cheesecake, she actually makes them as a side…

I fully intend on having a cheesecake bar instead of cake, top your own chocolate or traditional cheesecake with whatever your heart desires!

Pepperidge Farm cakes are AWESOME if you have just broken up with someone and want to eat your feelings from a box with a fork in front of your television.

We had tirimisu for our wedding since neither of us love cake. Best wedding decision ever.

Here’s an interesting piece on it:

Glad you liked it! As for false eyelashes, the 1960s was really when false eyelashes became a much more mainstream thing, but they were somewhat available in the 1930s-onward. The accepted history is that they were created in 1916 on the set of the film Intolerance when the director spirit glued bits of hair onto an…

Hahaha, thanks! If I ever have kids I’m going to keep all my weird navy blue lipsticks and pass them down to my grandkids and be like “Now back in my day, grandma was what you would call a ‘dirty dirty punk kid’. Now let me show you how to mosh, form a circle pit.”

Before going to a hairstylist, I’d go to a doctor and resolve whether or not you have hypothyroidism. If you have it, your stylist will have to tailor his or her advice to your medical issues.

In the past when my hair has been completely damaged and brittle the only real solution was to get regular trims, cutting off the dead ends bit by bit if it’s too difficult to do it all at once (which I GET - there was a time in my life where I was all “it grows back!” but now if someone even jokes about cutting my…

Funny, I always had the opposite problem when I had really long hair. (I still have long hair, but back in the day it was legit down to my butt.) I would be like, cut off 4 inches please, and they’d cut maaaaaaybe two. Like they were terrified of cutting too much and having me sobbing in their chair. So it would take…

I’m kind of at the point where I’m terrified of getting my hair cut. I have long, waist-length hair. Having a hair stylish respect that I want the length is like trying to do heart surgery with plastic utensils. I can’t count the times I’ve sat in a stylist’s chair and been close to tears because they removed too much…