UGHHHH The Clouds of Sils Maria was the most disappointing thing I’ve ever seen. The trailer promised me an enthralling queer lady romance. Oh well at least there was Juliette Binoche in a sexy suit.

As an American Jew and therefore part of the secret Jewish cabal that runs this shit, I would like to tell the world that we’re using our world-controlling powers to get Republican politicians to say this batshit weird-ass stuff in order to move the country away from supporting them. You’re WELCOME. WE’RE ONLY DOING…

I just want a bagel, please, that's all my little Ashkenazi tummy needs.

When I was 10, my mom finally was able to coerce me into entering a Limited Too, to try to get me to be interested in clothes that weren’t t-shirts and baseball hats. I picked out two striped sweaters, the least girly things in the store. Pretty sure that’s when she accepted she had to give up trying to get me to…

We were warned about this happening last year at local dog parks, especially the sections for smaller dogs under 35 lb. A lot of dog sitters/walkers would take all the small dogs they were in charge of and let them exhaust themselves at a dog park, and they would sometimes not be paying enough attention or would be…

I’m a Hemingway. High tolerance, then when I actually do feel the alcohol, it’s just that I’m tired and maybe a little dizzy. Makes drinking just a tedious reminder that I’m spending money on something that doesn’t taste good. So I only really drink alcoholic things that I think taste good, which means… barely…

Yes. It would have to actually bring in voices besides her own, and/or it would have to invite some serious level of audience interaction with the work. Otherwise, yes, it’s pretty much some racially and emotionally charged paraphernalia staged around a reenactment of trauma in which the audience is helpless— and…

Good fucking lord. I’m going to call a convention of my fellow white women artists with panels and lectures like “Can We Please Not” and “Stop it.” You have to accept that, as an artist, things you show publicly with your name attached are inherently about YOU as well as about the contents of what you show. People are…

I didn’t think I had any kinks… I was wrong.

This only strengthens my resolve to one day get quietly married in my regular clothes at a city hall. Just cannot deal with facing so much wedding BS.

Eh I’m 5’9”, a size 6, and definitely not skinny. I’ve been called: big-boned, pudgy, plump, heavy... I agree that it would be great to have more inclusive sizes available, but I’m not down for assuming how someone’s body looks based on two numbers, one of which might be totally unpredictable vanity sizing.

Thank you for mentioning Winton’s Jewishness early on in this article (to the folks who don’t get how he could still be a Jew, Jewishness is ethnoreligious, he was absolutely ethnically Jewish, just like most of the children he saved). I had always been under the impression that his story was one of a gentile who did…

Yoghurt should be full-fat and eaten with savory— not sweet— foods ONLY, preferably as a complement to hot spices. Get this low-fat, fruit-filled, Pinterest-friendly yoghurt nonsense the hell outta here.

I had the most frequent and experimental sex when I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. Part of why we had a lot of sex was because I was eager to do something that we both seemed to enjoy— I was desperately unhappy, seriously depressed, and socially isolated for much of that relationship otherwise. My other…

THANK. I hate that we set up people to become worried that their supposedly satisfying sex life simply can’t be enough because you don’t do X, Y, or Z. I’ve done all the kinky choking/roleplaying/teasing/public/fantastical/whatever stuff. Doesn’t beat some good ol’ oral.

I have to go through security with my hair down now. If I have it up in a ponytail, it just looks like such a nice, dense, meaty cluster of curls, they can't keep their hands off it.

As a so-called “bisexual” and “woman” I can confirm that it’s definitely a phase. When I’m with a man, I’m 100% straight. When I’m with a woman, I’m 100% gay. “Bisexual” is just what I am when I’m single. “Woman” is just what I am when I do actions and think thoughts, until someone finally comes by and decides for me…

Oh we’ve had people steal giant boxes of Copic marker sets and airbrushes and Sennelier paint. But individual pens and erasers are most common, they’re easy. And to be fair to this guy, he did at least have very good taste in erasers... My favorite was when I found that someone had ripped a cheap utility knife out of…

Having worked in an art supply store, I learned quickly that middle-aged white guys steal shit a helluva lot. Even when they’re with their families in the store. I caught two of them in the act and they got all incredulous about it in a “how could you think that” way. One of them said, “You think someone like me would…

I remember both my mom and dad being incredibly fun and silly. They’re a very goofy couple together, they love making each other laugh, so that translated into two very fun, funny parents. Kinda lucked out. Grateful for both of them for different reasons, though they’re not unique to each parent: for my mom who gave…