I’d be like, “But your kid... Jhaaaahh... Chohhhn? Juh hoan? You gave him such a weird, crazy name! It’s John? Wow I never would’ve been able to figure that out, great job knowing out how to pronounce that!”

I mentioned this in another post, but I think Jews (and SO MANY PEOPLE, really) can get particular mileage which this trick. When someone says, “You’re cute/pretty/nice for a Jew,” or, “But you don’t look Jewish at all!” or any bullshit like that, just calmly ask, “What do you mean by that?” Pretend like you have no…

They’re counting on us having low self esteem already so they can get a cookie for throwing us a (rotting, putrid) scrap of praise. My favorite technique now is responding with something like, “What do you mean by that?” and playing like I’m genuinely confused so they realize they have to explain aaaaaaall the shitty,…

As a tall woman who hasn’t yet felt comfortable dating a shorter man, I’m always compelled to say that us don’t have a hangup about short men themselves... you guys are just fine... it’s often to do with our own insecurities of being the “big girl” and less dainty and less feminine and thus less attractive with a man…

Meanwhile, my mother has been told she “misspelled” my name. I’ve been told I misspell my name. My second grade teacher told me I even pronounced my own name wrong.

Shoulda said, “Your English is also great. You almost sound like you have a brain in there, instead of a soggy French fry.”

I have occasionally wished my vagina had a Ctrl-Z option.

“And normally you don’t get dumped by fat girls, but here we are...”

Oh fuck no, run away, RUN AWAY.

I don’t wear makeup for lots of reasons. but it still makes my skin crawl when a man proudly tells me, “I personally really love that you don’t wear makeup.” It’s always in a tone that’s like... they expect me to blushingly thank them for noticing my *~*~natural beauty*~*~ or whatever, basically praise them for…

I think I met his female equivalent. I used to work at an art supply store, and the curb we were on was sunken so that rain didn’t make it into the sewer opening. A big, deep puddle would form there which made it tough for people crossing the street with wheelchairs and canes (and just gross and unsafe for anyone,…

LOVE IT (hate it) when I hear of so many other people who had awful high school counselors. How do these people think they’re possibly helping kids by saying this kind of shit??? How many kids out there really end up harmed and at a disadvantage because of a bad counselor?

I can’t decide between these two. Including the first one because I get it and all its variations SO OFTEN and it has me on the verge of getting JDate and giving up on goyim; including the second one because a popular boy in 6th (!!!) grade said it to me and it just huuuurrrrt:

I never seem to find myself attracted to the same women straight women say they’d “go gay” for. (Why not “go bi”? Why not “go Zoidberg”?). So when one of my straight lady friends wants to play Humor Me For Finding A Woman Attractive, I just... I can’t cooperate fully.

I’ve not noticed many more pregnant friends, but I definitely have noticed I suddenly have a boatload of friends who have become rabidly, scarily baby-crazy. I suspect this will eventually translate to lots of pregnant friends.

Turns out same-sex marriage doesn’t destroy straight marriage, it just destroys straight divorce. Hopefully this helps the Catholic Church warm up to it.

If you have an abortion, your water will never break: meaning, NO WATER. Yes. I have logicked the thing.

I already can’t have gluten, and the only thing I’ve found that keeps me from being bitten by mosquitoes is not having any cholesterol in my diet— meaning, no animal products. I was so upset that it worked because yes it does kind of suck to be vegan and gluten-free. Currently about to do the vegan thing again because…

So many conflicted feelings about this. The biggest problem I have with the ad is actually how the model is posed— kind of helplessly thrown down on the floor. SO many ads do this, and it honestly reads as very demeaning to me (men are more often upright in fashion advertising). Yes, she is thin in a way that makes me…

You know whose numbers I really don’t want to know? My parents’. And yet, I do. :\