As the very curly-haired white kid of two slightly wavy-haired parents, part of why I had lots of short haircuts was to deal with the fact that my parents didn’t know how to take care of my hair... so I didn’t know, either. Other adults actually told my parents to just take me to get my hair chemically relaxed because…

I highly recommend that everyone involved in legal proceedings against Zara for stealing their intellectual property start saying things like, “Zara? Who is that?” and “What is some small-town startup like Zimbo doing stealing my art?”

My own mother, who loves all that Brighton keychain stuff, thinks this is too much.

Nothing has motivated me more to get back on the diet and exercise train than the knowledge that I now weigh as much as a baby elephant.

This sounds like something my ex would do. Hence, ex.

Reminds me of the approach we used while staging a summer camp production of Bat Boy: The Musical. (and I must add that I was the 13-year-old thespian gifted enough to play the titular character)

Being lactose intolerant is awesome because I never have to debate milk pasteurization with anyone, really saves me a lot of time in my daily routine

Joots

If it shakes, I partakes.

So like Yves Klein but now it’s explicitly about fucking?

Isn't femfog the thing the Femboys sprayed from their gun-boobs in one of the Austin Powers movies?

Man flu?

Since I was a junior in college, so for the last 4.5 years, I have wanted to start a publication for teen girls about contemporary social issues... and in my head I had already named this publication Clover... wtf how did they sneak into my brain, I DEMAND ROYALTIES

I have ancestry like that, going back to Jerusalem and Hebron. There were definitely distinct Jewish populations living amongst each other at that time, it’s super fascinating! If you only know of one type of Jewish ancestry in your family, a test like this could reveal if you descend from another Jewish population as…

Anyone who uses the bullshit term “Judeo-Christian” can kiss my Jewish ass.

Why are these patriots complaining about her boobs when she actually kinda butchered the national anthem? #priorities

This show is like the ultimate form of tortuous sexual frustration for my bisexual loins. I WANNA SEE THEM BANG. I WANNA BANG BOTH OF THEM.

I like judging the royals for merely existing but hey I'm a fan of Montessori education...

My grossness, besides having nasty feet now, is that I am VERY prone to nausea when I push myself a bit too hard on a run. Several times I have wanted to just stick a finger down my throat and get it over with instead of moping in front of the toilet waiting to puke.

I was getting worried that I wouldn’t be able to finish these two outdoor mural projects before the snow set in or it got too cold to work with paint outdoors. But since it’s only December in name, I’m just casually taking my time now...