I love this unapologetically. Una-poo-logetically, even.

Bisexual and a survivor of child sexual abuse and definitely just puked in my mouth a little bit.

My mom started getting my hand-me-down shoes when I was 9... She doesn't have small feet, I'm just be'flippered. :(

I have the weirdest boner right now :(

I'm a head taller than my mom. She hung onto her poofy 80s wedding dress hoping that a future daughter could wear it; I couldn't even get it on because the waist hit me at the widest part of my rib cage. She was distraught: "I've had this fucking box sitting in my closet for over 20 years, FOR NOTHING."

This makes me so itchy, all the sugar, all the yeast...

As a bisexual woman, can I apply the lesbian sex tips to male partners and the "normal" sex tips to female partners?

Or living in actual slavery! Not "slavery-like" conditions, genuine slavery.

Before readers get all flustered about potentially getting sick from eating meat from conventionally raised animals given antibiotics, it's important to note that the bulk (perhaps even all) of the danger doesn't come from the eating the meat itself, but through a chain of human exposure leading to drug resistance. …

One of my brothers, like several people in my family, has had a severe penicillin allergy all his life. Not a single problem with meat, and no vegetarians on that side of the family.

My almost randomly assigned freshman roommate wasn't the most ideal person to live with (we got to select basic bedtime and noise preferences to be matched up, but that went totally out the window in reality), but she was a much better roommate than the other two I had, who were actually friends I thought I knew…

My ex went to a magnet boarding school for high school (so, like, free but college-style dorms), and one of his roommates was caught making and hoarding thermite in their dorm.

I saw that my dad had taken out the peaches from the fridge and put them on the kitchen counter when I got home yesterday, and I was hungry so I grabbed one. A few bites into it, my dad looked up from the table and nonchalantly said, "Oh by the way, those were recalled because of listeria, I just haven't tossed them…

TRANSFORMERS: ROBOTS IN DISGUISE

Shit like this causes "Yakety Sax" to start playing in my head.

why did I read this

And this doesn't even touch on his shitty Armenian Genocide comments...

My little, scruffy, likely terrier mix is most comfortable in between your legs/right up in your crotch, and she will KICK YOUR LEGS VERY FORCEFULLY to push them wider so she can stretch out. I'm gonna need a new hip by 30.

Isn't this how Republicans think HIV is spread?

That casting director really should've called me, I coulda hooked them up with some of the many swarthy Jews in my family.