Jeffrey Epstein would have killed himself for 13-year-old twins!

When I was 4, I peed my pants during a T-Ball game because I was sure my cup would hold it in. Wouldn’t have been such a big deal had it not been before the game had even started and I wasn’t standing next to the park bathrooms. The cup had holes in it too... Things haven’t gotten much better since then

I haven’t seen the Saints flayed this badly since Bartholomew.

Wow these fans are ready to levee war on NFL officials.

That jaw unhinges and he eats things whole. 

slav trash. she should be wearing a kappa tracksuit and squatting somewhere.

I know I mostly just make joke comments but sometimes the only thing that comes to mind is JESUS BUTTCHUGGING CHRIST HOW THE FUCK IS THIS REALITY?! I WILL NEVER EVER FUCKING FORGIVE ANY SINGLE PERSON THAT VOTED FOR THIS INSANE ORANGE BAG OF DIARRHEA WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

Shut up tomato. 

My guess is that his perception of reality has become so skewed that he genuinely doesn’t believe his “racist bone” is in his body.

...it’s in Ivanka.

Sleepy Joe! Goddamn that is clever! Did you just make that up on the spot?? I know conservatives, with their depth of intellect and incredible sense of humor, are able to whip up the most scathing and original thoughts almost instantly. Rarely do they fall in line with unoriginal thinking or unamusing nick names that…

I’m not sure you know the definition of “bullshit”.

It’s sadlarious how you keep beating this drum.

Hell, my dog has been on vacation with my grandmother at the lake for the last 3 weeks. The asshole can’t even show up anymore.

NOTE: The answer we were looking for was "Limitless." Though we also would've accepted "Wet Hot American Summer."

The Seattle Hipsters

The fact that O’Brien, who sucks, was somehow able to consolidate power despite barely having a winning record as a coach and NOT having any winning personality to speak of, says a lot about just how fucking bizarre the NFL is.

Seattle Flannel Shirts

My most vivid memory of Houston is the sheer terror I felt driving around down there. 8 out of 10 vehicles are monster-like trucks and everyone drives like they’re out for blood - specifically YOURS. From what I read here, this is the Texans’ fanbase. Checks out.

Lynn Redden was a school superintendent in Texas, overseeing 1,110 students and 177 staff members, when he posted his racist feelings to Facebook. He made over $110,000 per year, overseeing a district that’s over 86% white and <2% black.

in Portland we have “The Cat Rapper.” Seriously: