.

Let me be the first person with the balls to defend Greg Abbott, because he is 100% correct. Some insights really are timeless and should never be forgotten. Like, say, this one:

Oh man, if people are surprised that right wingers consider Columbus to be an “elitist” city, go to literally anywhere in the Midwest and hear their Republican politicians talk about the nearest big metro area. You’ve got no idea how racist the word “Milwaukee” can sound until you’ve heard it coming from some big wet R…

Your mom is on everyone’s side, according to the graffiti in the men’s room.

Just by simply not being David Stern does not make one a “good guy”. Everyone assumes he was a good guy after the Donald Sterling thing but no.

Peter Thiel could not be reached for comment on his Group DM blowing up.

“We’ve been to many sporting events together, not just N.B.A. events. We’ve been to Mets games together. We took the subway. He really raves about the hot dogs.”

Jared, who has a more stilted bearing, is a listener and a helper-outer: he volunteers to officiate at weddings—he’s done two—and performs pro-bono real-estate work for his friends.

Manafort has bespoke Depends made for him and they are designed not to show under his $10,000 suits.

You know Mueller and so do I
A full jail commitment’s what I’m avoiding
You got sold out by someone who was your guy
I just wanna tell you how I’ve been stealing

“Stealing large sums of money and filing fraudulent tax returns with the IRS are not crimes.”

Their whole schtick makes it easy to root them out; it used to be fun, but then they got lazy with the naming conventions and also the low-hanging, less subtle trolling. Also, it would not surprise me to find out that TF is actually an antagonistic former GM staffer with a well-known resentment for commenters. AJ…

Hey, liar.

You should be allowed to be critical of any religion without being killed. Islam does not get a special pass.

Hey, look ... it’s Tomato Face’s new burner account.