I didn’t know it was possible to be so passionate about the status quo.

Do humanity a favor and get a vasectomy.

Look everyone, that guy is here

P.S. Parental leave is bullshit, I should be able to take 4 week paid vacation whenever i want.

Keep in mind that Bezos put a figurative gun to the head of the state of Washington because he was being asked to pay local taxes. He literally threatened to shut down Amazon in Seattle and stopped construction on all projects in the city until they repealed the law that made him pay local taxes.

Ray Cohn was a tragedy.

Being invited to private homes is his right but having to bake a cake for gay people at your public buissness is government overreach. Got it.

I thought we were already telling them about this.

Do you...really think people don’t know what it means when a comic bombs?

That’s great that they released this album posthumously. RIP Aubrey, can’t believe Pusha T did him like that.

Beats not seen since the glory days of the Roc? Bruh, you got eyes? Or better yet: ears?

She could name her Thoughts and Prayers.  This would be the one instance that sending Thoughts and Prayers into a situation could actually make something better.

Sure, let’s “both sides” slavery and genocide. Just because you have the right to a stupid, shitty, ignorant, misinformed, racist, asshole opinion doesn’t mean you’re actually required to exercise that right. 

Sure “Paisano”. Def one of the finest and best known Aboriginal family names of all time. How many major racial human classifications are there? Read a fucking book.

My state tried to put 37 coal miners back to work.

“We love each other deeply,” she says. “We’re so close, we vibrate on the same frequency. If people want to speculate about what we are, that’s okay. It doesn’t bother me.”

I’m sorry but fuck a turtle.

I really really want Azealia to turn the corner but I think her GPS is broken.

I love the idea of basically crowdsourcing a civil suit payout but the money would go towards cleaning up the oceans? Girl, he called you the n word and spit at you. I’m sorry but fuck a turtle. Start something similar to #MeToo or #TimesUp…

In the end Winston did love Big Brother, so there you go.