the dick is normal. the forearm is waaaaay too long.

i got this one...

im looking forward to when my trump supporting housemate files his taxes this year. the ass was actually wearing the MAGA hat AND matching MAGA shirt around the house for the election, swearing in, every speech, and tried to work the conventions when the MAGAhole came to our state.

i dont know if this is a common practice but, when drinking Sol, ill put about two pinches of salt into a bottle after opening.

no, but i AM willing to learn.

d. Kaiser Soze

i started choking when the kicked drum first hit.

wrong.

how about you go fuck yourself because im the one thats eating it so ill eat it however i fucking feel like.

id like to think of it as a thinly veiled plea to be shot.

ditto.

its days at the beach such as that one where, if there were a shark attack, id route for the shark.

hey, im all for hard work and the rewards of building a strong character and whatnot but...

im looking forward to celebrating when either, or both, of them die of a heart attack.

carry a pet chicken!

she was stunningly beautiful in that white dress!

oh my god. thank you for giving me a new phrase.

so im just now getting into the whole The Stars War thing...

christ, man. next, you’re probably going to tell us how Titanic ended.