if a maiden be graceful, doth not her grace become still more charmingly enhanced by the very poetry of motion?

I'm allergic to aloe and I've had way too much trouble convincing people of that fact. People assume since it's good for "sensitive skin" it can't possibly make someone bleed from their pores, but it can! I'm avoiding lanolin bc of how I react to wool, not taking any chances!

Love this comment but just wanted to add (in defense of the amazing admin. assistants in our department) that a lot of those things aren’t admin. assistant jobs either.

Clarkson, now unhinged after being cast into the nihilistic wasteland of unemployment, has upped his war against cyclists. No longer content keeping them off the roads designed for cars, he's taking the fight to them and claiming their bike paths for the Gods of internal combustion.

I'm sure his coach was none to happy to deliver the news, as the man who passes the sentence must swing the sword.

Nah.

BCO is the only thing I look forward to on Mondays .

I cannot condone how many people are starring that monstrosity. 1971 Willy Wonka or GTFO.

New Mental Health Plan:

I was late for French (2nd year college so everything was in French all the time), and said, upon entering class, "Pardonnez-moi! Beaucoup de traffique." Everyone nodded except the professor who laughed, and we all looked at her, frowning. She said, "En Francaise, 'traffique' est... drugs."

Pretty sure that honor is reserved for Canada geese. Vile tempered shit machines... Owls stay away from people, they don't attack random kids walking through the park, and most of them don't poop. A vast improvement over geese.

John Snow was asked for comment as to why the Queen declined to sit on the throne, "I know nothing", he replied.

"A reuben on wheat which he ate with no complaints."

I look forward to the day when we don't automatically assume someone is straight, and we heteros have to start making similar "revelations". "Yes, I'm straight. My mother still loves me." ... Kudos to Jussie for doing this so matter of factly/ non-chalantly. Truly is no big deal. (Though he is. Such talent. Glad he's…

The invitations to my November 2001 wedding were mailed on September 10, 2001. The wedding venue? Windows on the World.

At least someone in Colorado is learning something from their head coach.

If someone pees in public they must register as a sex offender. If someone beats up their partner, the police doesn't give a damn, until there's one or more dead bodies. Why not make them register somewhere, too?

COME FREE ALL THY MEGHANNS!

Did you read the Mists of Avalon too? Flowers in the Attic, Thorn Birds, and Mists of Avalon are the three fucked up books that I loved as a tween.