Yeah. Some of us Mediterranean girls have a threehead, ok? And maybe a widow’s peak. Back off!

Which I don’t get. How is that different than “profiting from one’s crimes?”

I know little Abraham Attah has a (hopefully!) long career ahead of him, but damn! he was good in Beasts of No Nation. I want to see him get an award, please.

I didn’t need any revelations, because I always knew it was a really shitty thing to change yourself to get a boy to like you, that smoking and sexual pressure were bad, and that if you were a beauty school dropout, your options were limited. That said, those were some damned catchy songs and I still wonder what the…

Much respect to you for being thoughtful. I hope you come to a decision in time for the primaries in your state, and as a believer, I hope you #feelthebern. Good luck!

I just wish all bros were so easy to reason with. That’s a little sad.

Go fuck yourself. I’ll be outraged about what I want, how I want.

You know, I was having a pretty great fucking day. Landed a new job, got a good deal on chocolate at Trader Joe’s, talked to friends. Then I come home to a cat in a cone using it to play/root around in his own shit, news that the Challenger crew plummeted to their deaths over three minutes, and this. Goddamn it, just…

Why can’t people stop shoving unnecessary shit in their twats? Fuck’s sake, people. There are plenty of safe, fun things you can stick in there to improve your quality of life, like dicks, sterile toys, fingers, tongues, hell, even a cucumber if it suits you without trying to give your vag an exorcism. Nature has…

I feel like dudes always want to do it and I’m like “Eh, you’re between 8-19" taller than me (depending on the dude), and this is awkward and distracting. How about if I suck your dick and then you take a turn between my legs so I can lie back and focus?”

It is not the Eiffel 69 without high fiving.

Dammit. The midget problem. Sometimes I forget I’m 4'11", and nobody else is. Two tall dudes and two short ladies might work, though, as long as everyone realizes this is for science, and I’m going to need to be properly attended to in order to get off for real.

There’s no need to like these people. I mean, way to set the bar too high...

Bravo, sirs. Bravo. I can only hope to find this kind of soulmate one day. Sometimes I think that’s unrealistic, but today, you two have convinced me that hope is alive.

PTSD is never an excuse for domestic violence. That is all.

Is it just Jada staying home, or is Will parking his butt, too? Because that will be mighty awkward if he shows up without her.

That is the rallying cry of the January 2016 GOP. Yup. I keep wondering about that, too.

Which is crazy, because I’m always clapping Brit tv on the back for POCs in roles that don’t have to call attention to their color, but who are just people. I guess the bottom line is that everyone is pretty terrible at putting diversity on camera.

Never speak badly of James Corden again, please. He is my #1 English teddy bear. Not only can he actually sing, he made me not hate the Biebs, which is an unreal feat. And if you haven’t seen the Hulu series “The Wrong Man(s),” I suggest you do, and fall in love with him.

This is news to me! And great news at that.