Cigarettes as wedding favors. Hell on the skin.

He worked a couch search into a hip hop track. If that’s not genius, I don’t know what is.

Can we just talk about how, from a very punk rock standpoint that bullet necklace was pretty dope and I kinda want one, were it not for supporting a crazy longarm open carry hillbilly artist?

You can tell he’s given up because his sweater game has gone to shit.

I made an exception for a dude the other night (he fishes for salmon?) because he actually had no other hair growth. It was a wannabe baby beard to make him look his age. Generally, I 100% agree with you.

Great, I guess? But not really at all.

The Louis C.K. Sprint store sketch. So amazing, layered, and put perfectly together by Leslie. She definitely didn’t let him outshine her. Fucking gold.

She is like a child, utterly without guile or irony. Yes, Brit Brit, someone DOES care about you enough to share this meme and post how much they love you in the comments. I’m just glad you’re medicated, honey. Stay simple.

Worst. Toy. Ever. And I take umbrage with them being called Hoverboards. At no time do these hover over anything, except maybe a lack of good judgment.

Thanks for that “smh” update. I can’t keep up with the youth anymore.

That was inspirational. I feel like the very best little whore now. And I want a Werther’s.

I enjoyed that. And to the person who tried to stab a roach with a pin, I’ve got nothing but admiration for your quick thinking in a nightmare scenario. You get a purple heart for bravery.

To be fair, that’s one of the only private storage spaces in prison.

I love how she was just “I knew it and I thought I could get through it.” NBD. Go lunch lady. I hope you get lots of high fives from now on.

If you’re J J Abrams, just knowing a bunch of bishops are watching and reviewing your movie should fill you with odd glee, no matter what they say.

Wow. Jezebel commenters: a sisterhood of fraught mother-daughter relationships. Glad I’m not alone. I live 3000 miles away from my whole family, and am actually homeless at the moment (housesitting for the holidays with no place to go after), and on balance, even if I was near family, I’m not sure which would be more…

I guess I’m glad that Stacy Dash is standing up for harrassed women? As long as their bodies aren’t violated, or something? How does being in Clueless qualify you for news hosting again? I’m still confused about that.

I can almost guarantee this woman had no insurance or Medicaid.

Gonna say that I like Jezebel and its tone 99% of the time. And the commenters here. As opposed to say, xojane, where I can no longer stand the user-gen content and rabid commenters ready to tell you how evil you are no matter what you say. This site is informed, but snarky, and that suits me. I look forward to the…

Jesus Christ. Just, fuck. Somebody stop this. How much louder do we need to scream?