Does this mean he's a Jew? Would The Queen of Alaska let that happen?

You know, Sweden is about as close to progressive paradise as it gets in this world, but stuff like this just reminds you that women have a long way to go, even in a land of a ruling feminist party.

I have a very specific order in which I do things in the shower which cannot be altered even for a sexy co-showerer. I put my left contact from the package into my right eye (same prescription) and my right one in my left eye. I take a lot of prescriptions and they are in a very specific order that I can figure out in…

Giving defective kids away is all the rage now. If I ever got stuck with one, I would wait it out until they were like school age, see if they get better, and then ditch the little shit with strangers. You don't want to see them at your friend's house!

Oh my god. That was horrifying. And there's a Glory Hole Canyon out there somewhere?

Nick Cage. That's what's happening here. Expect Leto's career to take a turn for the "WTF?"

You people are insane. Lemonades are disgusting, and Trefoils are for emergencies. It goes 1) Samoas 2) Tag-a-longs and 3) Thin Mints. All the other ones are a waste of time/what you eat when you're desperate because your mom shipped them 2500 miles to you.

Do. Not. Like. Also revealing an extremely large, seemingly receding hairline. It's like a flashback to Fight Club, but old and sad.

How are they already roasting this dried out turd? Did he achieve legendary status at age 12? But the parody parody was pretty good. Everything is better when Justin doesn't talk.

Short-term, not serious exes? All day long friends. Long term, plans for the future exes? Too painful, too forced, and you will lose friends. Moving away from my ex-husband really sped up the healing process. Being constantly faced with another ex at every social function? It was crushing, a reminder of what I lost,…

A 5" dick is not Goldilocks. I am, ahem, very small, and that doesn't really do it for me. I've been in relationships with 5" guys, and I loved them, and it was no big deal, but given my druthers, I'd prefer something a bit more substantial/girthy.

I knit a penis warmer (on request) for someone once, and evidently it was too big. So much for vanity sizing!

Size is generally proportionate (should be no surprise). Taller guys, bigger wieners. Average/short guys, average johnsons. There are exceptions, but you can usually count on tall, skinny guys to be packing more than average. I don't know what they mean by "unusually large," but there are a LOT of guys at 6-7+".…

The thought probably never occurred to her. After all that history she did, why should it?

Maybe what she should have said is "equality for all women is everyone's issue." Or maybe she just should have let Emma Watson write something.

You can take the girls out of New England, but you can never take the New England out of the girls.

The greatest thing I got out of all of this is that there exists a $1 foundation brush worth using. This has been the ONE brush missing from my arsenal since forever. Bring on the BB cream.

I used to buy it for my (now ex) husband. I'd flip through and get ideas for bathing suits. True story.

D'Angelo. Almost showing you his pussy since 2000.

I know all of my parts very well, from mons pubis to cervix, but I hate the word "vulva" the way some people hate "moist." "moist vulva." Just sounds unappealing. I think the term "vagina" has been brought to the forefront like a catchall (ha) brand name. Like Q-Tips and Kleenex, but for pussy parts. I like saying…