Elvira. That's fair, I guess. I was really confused by the "what kind of sexy" question. American Eagle is sexy? What's Target sexy - fun and frugal or just cheap and disposable?

We can dream, right? I think I'm 100% on track for the hair, even at 35. The skin? We'll see. Never have I been given a better reason or inspiration for sunscreen and moisturizer. Luminous.

Wait; did the pregnocé rumors get confirmed? Was that the sand thing? Am I failing JayB (BeyJ)?

In Utah, companies with 100 (I think) employees must provide lactation lounges. Having used them for migraines (shhh), I can say that they are outfitted with a comfortable lounge chair and a mini fridge to store milk. The ones I have seen were in a Wells Fargo building. They also win best float in the Pride parade. A…

Did this. To be fair, it was a tumultuous time and I'm reasonably sure I was manic, but I tried to seduce my supervisor and my married-but-separated coworker. The coworker was guilt ridden but very into the attention. The supervisor was flirty and stood too close to me to "help" me, and it was the gossip on the…

Double Vaginal (Penetration).

Don't call it DV. That conjurs up a whhhhhhole different thing.

Most peoples' familiy gatherings are heroic restraint of domestic violence.

It was fucked up for sure, but then so was ripping out a dude's innards, leaving a dangling, beating heart. Everyone was appropriately horrified by the gore and remembered why their moms hated it in the first place. I really don't see it as gender-biased violence. I can guarantee you can do the same thing to a male…

Sometimes when I look at D. Trump's confectionary hair, I remember that he's a ginger, and it makes me laugh. He's an angry leprachaun!

I'm mostly just concerned about the breast exam non-advice. How will you notice changes if you don't check for them, exactly? But ok, smeary lipstick. Nothing says fight cancer! like the post blowjob look.

I can't even. I don't really say that, but I literally can't even. My brain just initiated emergency shut down. Is that also because I'm a lying, faking, pretend bipolar benefits cheat? Must be the lithium.

Best article in awhile. That is all. I'll probably post it, and someday somebody might deny me a job because of my views on sex and politics, too. Having a baby ruins careers. Being disabled. Fuck em all.

So here's the thing. A lot of people who are introverts and dislike large, hostile group settings are also extremely funny in small groups. People who are terrified of public speaking to an audience can be great with just a couple of people say, playing video games. Conan is also used to "warming up" guests. How is…

Good to know that because I don't really drink, I can pat myself on the back for not getting myself raped yet. I needed a feel good today.

Just that it's weird they would put it there. I didn't do the Walgreen's merchandising. I just figured that might be one of those things you keep with the other OTC medicine. Put it next to the other contraceptive stuff, maybe? Anyway. Moot point.

You're right about the drug. My bad. Still weird to sell Plan B with the L'Oreal mascara.

So I was at Walgreen's the other day, and the sign at the pharmacy said "Plan B available at cosmetics counter." Just let's think on that.

If you know Jezebel, this should be obvious. See also: Mark Shrayber. (Sorry. Yours was the most awesome "perfection" of the bunch.) Welcome, Millihelen!