But what if you really have to pee and it's business time and you would be totally uncomfortable? There's no way to win this game.

When I got divorced, no one would buy the ring because my fingers were too small. I didn't want it; it had bad juju. So I ultimately gave it to a couple of young kids (this is Utah) who were getting married so they could use the diamond. Not even sure if they did, but I was happy and glad to repurpose and get rid of…

I've called people cunty. Been told not to get cunty about things (like knickers in a twist). Usually among friends. Also got a little too friendly with the word after dating a Kiwi. Don't generally call people cunty/cunt to their face, and will fight anyone who does it to me. Am I a hypocrite? Probably. Am I sorry?…

The train wreck that is Megyn Kelly. White Santa, black Obama. I can't look away. She is a nutjob, but never quite truly evil. Like the villian who is only mean because of low self-esteem. Also too smart for her own good on that network. My hope is that someday she will have a come to Jesus moment and jump ship to the…

Seems like a simple craft project to me. Though, you may want to keep opened cans of food away from the rottweilers.

Crazy like a fox, maybe. Too bad the word went wide and now all the intruders know about the half-baked bean plan and can be prepared with those suits that bomb techs and attack dog trainers wear!

They are no longer allowed at the bastion of progressiveness, BYU. Although they cloak the lustfulness of the male gaze in the guise of "dressing modestly and in a manner that pleaseth the Lord, as a young woman of the Gospel." I made that up, but it's pretty close to the wording.

I am extremely anti-domestic violence, because I am sane. I do really want to believe this Mr. & Mrs. Smith/Alias story, though, because it is awesome. FIND THE BALLGOWN, LEWINSKY STYLE!

Who even are these people?

White girl with "ethnic" type hair. Also don't feel the need to shower daily for an ordinary day. Maybe I'm just lazy, but I think if you do nothing strenuous all day, stripping your skin and hair with soap and hard water isn't that necessary.

Ok, so confession. I totally registered on that site, and there are some young hot dudes. Mostly, though, it is guys I could never fathom um, being with, and they all want to "leave the money on the nightstand." I know a woman who is working the system between this and Ashley Madison, but she is hustling and juggling…

Is House of Cards a comedy? It's a damned duplicitous, dramatic comedy. I am not watching along, so I need help.

I watch prison shows. I know how this works. (Pretty sure; Hollywood knows.) Can't we just throw him in jail where a guard will look the other way while people of color (but probably not women) will beat him to death for the good of humanity?

I know a young woman this happened to. She was a very skinny 19 year old, didn't gain much weight, had always had irregular periods, and thought she had stomach problems (nausea, vomiting, pain). She was in such horrible pain one night that her friends had to FORCE her to go to the hospital. They did an ultrasound and…

I am a really shitty unemployed person. I stream tv like the apocalypse is tomorrow. Today, I watched porn after waking up at 12:30pm. All that bulk sending of resumés and endless "pre-employment questionaires" seems really daunting. So does rent.

He looks like a child being touched in the bad way.

Why did I even click on this? I knew it would be bonkers (save the nice dark haired lady in blue - how did she get roped into this fuckery?) and make me want to curb stomp kittens. Why do people keep paying this windbagged twat?

That might be the most damning condemnation yet. No one wants to upset The Gosling.

I would be with you, except where I live, dudes put that in their dating profiles. "Definitely looking for a woman to have children with. Do not reply if you don't love kids." And then that dude will message you anyway when yours says "no kids. ever." It's a cruel, fickle world.

I have no problem with this. Boyfriend of the Year, in my opinion.