Ah, the Native Elitists. The only Coloradans that are more hated than the transplants.

“Those bastards in Bristol are ruining everything,” Palin continued. “I’ll be babysitting every weekend ‘til I’m fucking 75 years old at this rate.”

“Now...where was I on the ESPN thing....oh right, Curt Schilling...”

The Cubs.

‪”I feel like that is the untold story of this data leak—how many people just aren’t getting a sexual connection they want. And rather than talk about how people could solve this problem, everyone is just moralizing.”

No way. I’d much rather watch a grainy VHS of The State than the Bears.

He’s on the record as saying nice things about Puerto Ricans, though. I even heard him say, “There’s no such thing as bad PR.”

The boy asked, “Why, when I needed you most, was there only one set of footprints in the sand?” And Jesus replied, “Because all the other infielders were in the dugout, jerking off.”

you are a garbage person that hates joy

Plus, BC gives us the land route to Alaska, always a long-standing American dream. Alaska is like our Kaliningrad.

Trust me. Tommy will never get into Cooperstown.

Definitely due to the deflated balls. Not Chicago’s 30th ranked pass defense.

Every time any text messages leak from any professional sports team I’m remind that most of their employees are essentially 13 year olds.

Glad to see his son choosing not to follow in his father’s footsteps by learning how to read and write.

It’s still unclear if the young woman wanted to be in the photo, or if Winston forced her to be in the photo.

Looks like Winston spent the offseason working on cap placement with Fred McGriff.

God bless Pat Tomasulo.

and his wife, like Eve, most likely evolved from one of the ribs in the meat section of the supermarket he used to work at.

The band immediately attempting to distance itself from the suit

Stages of Marshawn Lynch

Matt Flynn: "Can't find a better maaaaaaaaaan!"