I mean I feel like I'm constantly assessing the likelihood that I will actually, genuinely have to flee to Canada.

Ever see the experiment where they sit kids down in front of a cookie and say "if you don't eat this cookie right away, if you just wait, you can have 2 cookies later."

The next president will be Mike Pence. And just so I'm clear I'm not talking about Trump getting impeached and Pence becoming president. I'm talking about 8 years of Trump and 8 years of Pence.

And the whole thing ends with Jon Voight getting eaten by a snake!

"We didn't start the fire" is the ultimate white excuse song.

Yeah, why count anyone when you can just make shit up? A quick Google search suggests 1.8 million people were at Obama's 1st inauguration.

Pssh, everyone knows traditional American music can only be invented by white people like John Phillip Sousa who invented marching bands and Ryan Gosling who invented jazz.

Even if this ends in the best possible way (which would be what? I don't even know, Trump and Pence both being impeached and Jed Bartlet somehow magically becoming President) there's no way it will ever not be embarrassing.

I know it's important to be able to laugh at things like this. We can't give in to despair, and so on.

Progressivism has always been hampered by those who try to make it a pissing match for who's most enlightened. Sadly, the internet has not helped this.

Yeah, I have a facebook group for me and my friends to encourage each other to get involved and call our representatives and such. And I've got one friend who keeps posting really clickbaity things like "BREAKING NEWS: 2016 HOTTEST YEAR ON RECORD - ACT NOW!" And sure he follows it with a link to call your congressman…

I mean, I don't disagree but that's the point, right? I mean, saying Deadpool is too pleased with itself is like saying the Mad Max movies have too many chases.

Well there won't be an America in the late 2010's either. So there!

Hot takes get their own hot takes now.

Imagine Steve Carell, Stephen Colbert, Louis CK, and Charlie Kaufman all working together on a project today.

It's chill, it's fresh,
It's Noah's Arcade

What?

The construction tape should have said "Do Not Cross." It makes no sense for it to say "caution." Nothing bad is going to happen to the Texans if they get in the endzone (I think, it's pretty hypothetical at this point.)

As a Browns fan, you have my deepest sympathies. It seems to me that the NFL despite being so gung-ho about moving teams to LA would really try to prevent teams from moving.

Scratch that, they do have a Documentary category in which they nominated Weiner, including co-director Elyse Steinberg. So I guess unless you don't think that Documentary Features are "Feature films" this headline is just your typical case of cherry picking ("but 9 out of 10 doctors agree sounds so much better than 9…