Goodell inherited the most profitable and successful league in the country. There's really nothing one can do with that besides overreach.

But do they hang dong in the press room? I mean would they? Has anyone asked them?

That explains so little.

"I'd have passed the ball. If I'd known that defender would have been there I'd have still passed the ball. If I'd known it would be intercepted, I'd have still passed the ball. I'm not trying to win football games here, I'm trying to teach life lessons about how to cope with failure. I'm actually the team therapist…

If Browns fans have to see "the fumble" and "the drive" and "Red Right 88" and "the shot" and… know what? I'll be in the corner weeping.

22 QBs thank you very much. Because anything worth doing, is worth doing 22 times!

There is no way she was a real Jeopardy contestant. Clearly she took out the actual contestant backstage with a rag soaked in ether and took her place just so she could write "Turd Ferguson"

Really? Because I pictured it for a moment and now I can't not see it.

Right? Brief but vital role, that only works if someone like McShane is bringing it.

McShane certainly would make a good pirate, or a Tarly, but why the secret? We're all expecting those characters anyway. It would only make sense to keep it a secret if its a character we're not expecting to see.

Some of the reactions to this that in seeing saying that this proves Stewart is a racist a-hole can only lead me to conclude that there are a lot of people out there who have never met people before.

"Rub-a-dub-dub. Three men in a tub.

Someone get me a binder full of Mitt Romneys!

Yes, but that scale goes to 11.

Tweet of God. Ken Jennings. That's about it. Avoid anything that's "trending."

"I am amazed at people's ability to take offense at…"

I got drunk and passed out next to a Ham once…

You know, I'll literally never be a mommy, but my interest in empathizing with and understanding different experiences suggests that reading a mommy blog would be insightful.

Have you met others? You wanna interact with that?

Worst dentist ever: "Praise be to Jesus the Lord who want's me to ask you… is it safe?"