When asked about his opinion on Hamas, Emmitt Smith replied that it's too garlicky.

If you are what you eat then it appears that Lou Piniella is everything.

Actually, the vast majority of comments here have been in the complete opposite direction: Women are pure, innocent, weak, feeble creatures who are incapable of any participation in violence. If a woman is ever harmed at the hands of a man, it is 100% his fault.

And then he nodded, satisfied with his list and convinced that he had hit the basic deal-breakers. Then he put on his fedora, went online, and complained that no women ever want to date such a nice guy like him.

I saw this earlier they just filmed like 50 of these and deleted the ones that didn't come true

If that's true then what's even the point of trading for Love? We just saw a team with three superstars and a bench full of bad basketball players get demolished in the finals. Why sign Lebron if the plan is just to do that again?

So this is how the Cavs are gonna Cleveland this up huh?

More coming soon on this, obviously.

Because it's fun, here are three separate projections for the USMNT 2018 World Cup roster. Enjoy this; it's one of the last times we get to pretend all our prospects will pan out.

English, motherfucker. Do you read it? Go back and read what I wrote.

Can someone please explain how none of his biting victims have punched him in the mouth? How is that not your first reaction? How does the shock/confusion not immediately turn into "okay, that guy just forfeited his teeth"? Dude just tried to eat you.

Shane, please stop telling us about how great it is working at home with Google! I know it's the best job you've ever had but the rest of us are stuck here at Walmart putting "Some assembly required" stickers on 8-packs of chicken. Jesus.

Are there so few who can do the job? Or so few who are given the opportunity?

So...like overnight then?

You know nothing, Jon Snow

I was 14 years old, and goddamnit I wish this weren't the case but when I was growing up I had several chores around the house, which included folding all of the household's towels/washcloths/etc when they got out of the laundry. My stepmother would put all towels in two loads for efficiency's sake, so I ended up…

As a Milwaukeean, I can't say I'm outraged at this behavior. In Europe they're still regularly throwing bananas at black athletes on the pitch. As long as Nomad doesn't promote "Blackface Tuesdays" I don't think our cultural panties should be bunching here.

No one in Wisconsin gives a fuck about soccer. The fact that the Brewers are in first place still doesn't detract from however many days until Packers training camp.

If Pabst history has taught us anything, this promotion was bound to be Schlitz.