At this rate, Winston will probably end up being suspended by FSU for his actions around the year 2017. The Tallahassee Police Department will acquire an arrest warrant around 2046. He will be jailed somewhere around the year 2258.

Thank God. I was beginning to worry that he wouldn't face proportionate justice.

I heard that Stevie Wonder doesn't watch hockey but that's also by choice.

Heyman actually seemed pretty impressed with Molina's shove, saying "nice shot."

the bunt and headfirst slide into 1st base at 1:00 is what kirk gibson's sex dreams look like

I don't believe it either. Those windups, man. But there's virtually no follow-through or use of forward momentum. It's like they went out of their way to throw off their heels.

Some shit never changes.

Harris seems to be carrying some luggage on his trip around the bases.

Yeah, but that aside, how did you like the column?

If you look closely at the crowd, you can see a young Jamie Moyer soaking up the action.

Woman: [ Googles "Floyd Mayweather" ]

Tempers are running high in there. Someone get Chappelle and John Mayer in there stat.

Mark Schlissel: Dave's not here, man.

Better players

On behalf of the rest of America, I'll begin the #BrandonForever movement.

Naturally, the most Extreme home runs of the year were described with more than words.

Who's the other one?

"When you go to my Mecca, a little place called Applebees, you should be able to get all the sliders you want."

Oh sure the NFL makes a big show of breast cancer awareness but the minute someone gives a fig about men's health it's a 15 yard penalty.