38, twenty years restaurant life, served thousands of caesers. Maybe less than twenty guests in that span have ordered a “bloody” caesar.

Ha ha your parents hated you

I live in south Louisiana; you would definitely wake to find that tent filled with some combination of venomous snakes, alligators, and oil if you were dumb enough to use it on any of our fine waterways.

Pro tip: don’t google “bear in pond” images.

I’ll take the road moss, thanks. 

The king’s been crowned for a long time, dude.

Waffle buns was my nick-name in college. 

Now, I might be ruffling a few feathers here but I think these Scientology types sound a bit shady.

By “ruins my life” I assume you mean “fills my evening with joy and uncontrollable giggles”, no?

kind of shocked at this grade tbh. its not glowing of course but the interminably long trailer was horrendous.

Make a drink to pair with a meal of berries

I made an infused vodka with my strawberry haul last year. I’d do that with these in a heartbeat. Fair warning: It’s a hangover time bomb, as the sweetness is deceptive and encourages pain-inducing fun. 

This is hilarious but also the reason I’m glad I don’t work in an office. I’d hate to ever be that bored.

Don’t be such a pessimist. Open your mind. I’m sure we’re fucked for other reasons too.

“It’s a fine excuse to eat-test instant ramen with friends, but I’ve been really pleased with living without a microwave for the past 3 years.”

A corndog with ketchup? You monster...

Drinking the leftover jus?

Now, if you happen to have leftover beef juices from, say, sous vide, and you make a nice Jus out of it, that is really great beef flavor

Such an individual question.

Good article, I’d add: