I laughed from just imagining people I can't stand opening And then having to clean up envelopes full of glitter. If they could find a way to let you know when it would be delivered, so you could make up a reason to be around to see it happen would be awesome. I guess maybe with the FedEx/UPS tracking info?

Aberdeen is a small place, and she'll get lots of 'cards' I'd imagine! Muahahahahaha!

How dare you imply that Jeremy Renner would ever move to Phoenix.

"Rayner said she panicked as she had to get to the last train to Aberdeen with her daughter, who suffers from asthma."

Every time I hear about Chris Pratt, I'm all like:

No, she's saying that all penises can find a condom that works for them. It may take some trial and error but there are condoms for everyone.

Don't know why. I have never met a dude who has had a problem with condoms and I have met some well-endowed dudes.

*sits back and patiently waits for the male posters to jump in and start screeching that we just don't get it, condoms hurt, ok? Like, you can't feel anything ever! And it's too tight! ETC ETC*

Is the boob a sidepiece?

Tweet of the year so far.

One afternoon, we get a large group who is, for the most part, friendly and quick with their orders, until the last gal who is "VERY allergic to gluten", and asks for a full description of every single hot dog topping on the menu, to determine what has gluten. It was tedious and somewhat annoying (it was a crazy busy…

We need to teach people that it's okay to say you don't like, or don't want to eat, some foods and ask if they can be omitted from your dish. The answer may be no, but at least you can then avoid ordering it. You don't have to concoct an elaborate medical lie to justify it. The waiter is not your mom and dad yelling…

When Adrien Chen outed Violentacrez all the way back in 2012 (an ice age in internet years) I was concerned about doxxing by Gawker Media writers. Michael Brutsch was a gross, hateful dude who deserved to be rolled in donkey poop and kicked through the town square for his publication of upskirt photos on Reddit . Many…

it is on netflix

i have bellowed about this before, but 'salem' is my fave hatewatch. i started thinking that it would maybe be accidentally feminist as the women accused live their lives and stuff, but no. they're witches and it's weird and sexual. and when i saw that they were going with the witch route i LITERALLY SAID OUT LOUD…

Hollandaise?! That's next level!

yes it is

Haha, nice

hahaha! Yes,the anticipation of the pain of whatever they would do to it was a good part of the reason I didn't go. The actual injury itself didn't really hurt (probably not a great sign), but I knew that stitches or cauterization would be unpleasant, and whatever they would use to disinfect would be horrendous.…

I gave my brother a mandolin for christmas this year, and was shouting the exact same thing to him tonight.