I like having a secret with you, my lovely. It makes me feel special ❤️

I have a terrible feeling that someone killed the mom and locked the cubs in the toilet. Probably because my default setting is always that people are inherently terrible. Also, a mama bear would knock that rest area door down to get to her cubs if she could, if they’d somehow gotten in there by themselves.

Ha! Sweeeeeet.

I wish I had something more effective to say than, “I’m sorry,” but jumpin’ Jesus on a Saturday night, I am so sorry.

If I never live to star anything else, ever again, I’m glad I lived long enough to star this.

When my son asks why I’m booting him off the couch and exiling him to the east wing (his room, ten feet away) I’m just gonna tell him, “Mommy’s internet friend said so.”

When my son asks why I’m booting him off the couch and exiling him to the east wing (his room, ten feet away) I’m just gonna tell him, “Mommy’s internet friend said so.”

You’re hurting my head, treasure.

I don’t know if it’s shade, but it is beautiful.

And my husband just called and told me that three black bear cubs were found locked inside a toilet at a roadside rest stop beside the highway in Banff National Park on April 1, with no sign of the mother anywhere. They’re still young enough to be nursing.

After all the seat kicking, high-pitched screeching, tantrum-throwing, Cheerio-throwing and fighting with whomever happened to be sitting next to him over the years, I’m surprised my son’s left arm isn’t a tiny bit longer from the amount of times I yanked him out of the car and sent him on his way. “HAVE A GOOD DAY AT…

Now I’m thinking that her monkey family is upset that someone stole her from them and they miss her and they’re wondering where she is and if she’s ok and they’re sad and... goddammit... Now I’m sad.

His composure during the altercation was remarkable. Just with my experience trying to get recalcitrant, bratty children in and out of cars, I know I would have snapped and dragged this woman out of the vehicle by her hair, probably yelling things a lot worse than “bitch.”

Hey, it’s almost the weekend, woo hoo!

I have such a crush on Mike, I can’t even...

I’d say yes.

Oh, molars are the worst. They’re big and blunt and take their own sweet time. I hope they pop through soon. Poor little lamb.

I’m glad you didn’t get kicked off the flight. Babies make noise. It’s what they do. I’d rather have noisy babby than the still drunk, reeking of beer, frat Broseph in board shorts, flip-flops and a “No Money, No Hunny,” tank top with his disgusting armpit hair hanging out anywhere in my immediate vicinity on a plane.

Complete incompetent madman.