If it were a Jeep, David Tracy would be rounding up parts for a resto before the frame was cool. 

A urologist I know bought a bright yellow Mini. His wife, a respirologist, got a blue one. 

“...in her 15 years with the group she had participated in over 100,000 ceremonies in which she “spiritually” removed people’s brains from their bodies....”

1) “Shee-it, man, I got burned up waaay worse’n this when that batch of Heisenberg went up.” -Florida Man

DJs used to love this, and Layla, and InAGaddaDaVida because they could go have a crap, get lunch, etc. Hard to do that to a three and a half minute pop song. 

And why not Wendy Carlos instead of Hans frickin’ Zimmer???

I still have this vinyl. It came in to our uni radio station and after the on-air staff listened to it (for about 8 seconds) it went in the trash. Then to my place. Gotta go grb it right now!!!

This album was a life-changer for me. Saddest day of my life was leaving Germany. To this day, “Autobahn” is my ‘happy-place’ record.  Thanks for this. 

“...the Zimmer sounds will be available as upgrades...” It’s a BMW, everything other than the air that surrounds it is an upgrade FOR WHICH THEY WILL BILL YOU. Why do you think “Broke My Wallet” became such a meme???

Not even if Jon Voight owned it. 

Well, there’s the avoidance of the whole “fly down to Florida” part, meaning you don’t have to get a concealed carry permit...

North Korean Embassy staff car. 

...AND I WANT MY FUCKING CASSETTE PLAYER BACK!!!!!

“Hold my beer.”

I know a doctor who keeps buying Beemers and complaining about iDrive. “It doesn’t recognize my voice!” he says. I’ve told him a hundred times, it doesn’t recognize ANYONE’S voice. Also, if you don’t like I drive, FFS STOP BUYING BEEMERS!  And he totally fits the entitled d-bag profile. 

Back-up cameras. Aways dirty, they shift position and you can’t see the display in the glare of daylight with sunglasses, and they aren’t illuminated sufficiently at night. Waste of money. 

Wait until you live in Northern Canada with arthritis in your spine. I will never buy a car that does NOT have heated seats. The wheel is a nice touch, but the one in my Audi died a year in. But I have gloves for that. 

You watch, it will turn out that the autonomous driving isn’t autonomous at all: it’ll be some guy in front of a console in Mumbai using Wayz to get you through traffic by remote control, like a drone pilot sitting in Nevada flying a mission in Iraq. You thought you bought a car, but got a high-end tuk-tuk. 

Wow, how old? How many miles? What;’s it in??? DETAILS PERSON, DETAILS!!! :}

This car would do well in any state where weed is still illegal. You can drive it when you’re stoned, and despite being paranoid about how fast you’re going, it’s STILL going to be under the limit.