Who would ever give a tow company a good review?

Oh God sanctimonious moms. Those moms who post bullshit statuses like, “while you’re out clubbing and acting a hot mess, I’m taking care of my precious baby!” But weren’t you clubbing before you got knocked up? Now all of sudden you’re above that? *eyeroll* shut up.

I wish it wasn't set in a halo. I think it takes away from the fabulousness of a giant heart-shaped canary diamond.

It’s not the event - it’s the frequency.

We can’t wait for you to get back to work—maybe you won’t have time to be on Facebook quite so much.

I keep a few of my more absurd friends on my feed for exactly this reason. Sometimes I need a little shade with my coffee to start the day right.

When I had kids I just unfriended every cool person I knew until all I had left was family and some equally irritating parent friends. It was the only fair solution for everyone.

I mean if anyone can pull it off I guess it’s her. Or Gaga. But seriously, NO ONE ELSE PLEASE STOP.

I would. Hard!

I’m roundly mocking her because she’s dumb. She just happens to be a teen mom and a porn star.

Lip injections are not a surgical procedure so yes, Kylie Jenner may technically not have had plastic surgery.

It’s not because she was a teen mom or is in porn. It’s because she is an idiot.

Porn career aside, that girls grasp on the English language is tenuous at best. If you can trust her to construct a proper sentence can you really expect her to reconstruct a face?

Every single thing about this girl’s life choices makes me sad.

I think she’s being mocked because she’s clearly a dimwit who has no business taking pre-med coursework, let alone practicing medicine.

“I’m like, ‘Stop talking about Kylie Jenner,’” says alconleigh, who is totes over it.

I support this, as long as I never have to be her patient.

I would love to never read another article about Farrah Abraham. But not nearly as much as I would love to not read about Farrah Abraham for about a decade, and then read an article about how she became a leading cosmetic and reconstructive surgeon. Come on, you know that would be a mind-blowing turnaround.

Yeah, Farrah, I'm glad you're settings your sights higher than porn but I don't think you understand how becoming a doctor works.

“Physically, it’s really not that important...but I do have a type.” OF COURSE YOU DO.