this is so on point

She's the one whose drink you eagerly refill at every reunion.

I know plenty of people who do just that, in fact. In some ways, it's better, because the rest of us aren't obliged to dress up, nobody has to sit through anything resembling a ceremony, and nobody's expecting me to chip in for a knife set that will somehow never get used.

You are literally a man who can't take no for an answer.

Key tip to make it less insufferable: pay for it yourself. Very few people are going to side eye a party where they show up and get to eat and drink for free.

Because there's a nonzero % of guys who will take "I have a boyfriend" as a sign that the girl isn't going to be receptive to their flirting (because they're in a relationship!) but will take "no thanks" or whatever as a sign that it's time to turn up the charm?

Yeay for more parties!

Yes! I do not see getting married in my future, and even if it happens, I don't want deal with having a WEDDING. So I've been thinking of throwing a big birthday party for my 30th (late this year), possibly something ridiculously prom themed like "love under the sea" or "a night with the stars" and people will have to…

A. I love your username.

I would really like this. It is what registries were originally supposed to be. I think we should go back to just handing people cash at weddings depending on how much I hated going to their wedding, and instead do graduation "showers" and actual house warming registries. When I bought my condo exactly one person got…

Our society needs more fancy parties.

And maybe a more inclusive thought than, come to my house to celebrate ME, ME, ME!!!

Agreed. If you want to have a Thing - an event of some sort - commemorating your adulthood, cool! Throw a big bash, buy yourself an awesome dress, make it about you, that is fine. I think there are truly ways to pull that off without being insufferable. I do understand the desire for an "entry into adulthood" party of…

I did that after I finished paying off my student loans. Since my budget had that monthly payment built in (and I was at the end of a long balloon payment cycle, so it was pretty high), I used what would have been the next month's payment to take all my friends to a buffet brunch at a local fancy resort. Everybody…

Yessss!

Thank you! I just want a fancy dress, fancy cake, alcohol, food, and my people.

Regularly attending elaborate costume events (Victorian balls where I got served a 9 course meal by servants!) really does shut down a lot of those "must have hugely expensive wedding" impulses.

This has got to be the most embarrassing thing an adult human being can do.

I know when you watch it now it's ludicrously silly, but my god this film scared the crap out of kid me. Even though I watched it, like, a billion times.

check out wsmv.com. That's the Nashville news station that I've been watching the live coverage of the trials. You should see how surprised that asshole looked when he was found guilty. Made me sick.