One thing you can do if you just can’t handle swallowing but don’t want to hurt any feelings by spitting: ask him to come on your breasts when he gets close. You can do it yourself, work up a good rhythm with your thumb and forefinger sliding along with your lips (guys LOVE this), then when he gets close, pull away…

I am lucky enough to live in a place where I don’t need a car, and can walk to almost everything. So I often save my calls to family and friends back east for during that walking time. My grandma especially enjoys “going on walks” with me. :) My BFF commutes and is totally the “only calls while bored and driving, has…

Instinctively kneading the air the way kittens knead momma cat’s belly when nursing?

My ex got told he looked like Keanu about twice a day on average. That’s as close as I’ll ever get to hitting it, but I’ll take it. And oh, oh how I did.

I agree it’s an exorbitant amount. The worst part is that you know they’re going to make bank with a gofundme campaign after this.

I’m sorry that happened but I LOVE that he was made aware of what a twat he was being. That doesn’t happen often enough!

Thank you. I don’t know why some people get so bent out of shape about this. And the “but it’s a family affair and kids are part of the family!” camp can sit the fuck down. Weddings, as we all like to point out when we’re defending our gay friends’ right to marry, has changed a lot over time. They used to be basically…

Don’t worry about it so much. I’m willing to bet a few of those friends will be happy to take the night off as parents and have fun with you at your child-free wedding by the time it rolls around. :) Just frame it as a night where you want all your adult friends and family to relax and enjoy themselves and it’ll be…

I highly doubt it was a matter of guts, and more a matter of lacking in the brain region. Some people just don’t think.

Are you sure it wasn’t the groom’s nieces/nephews who were invited? There’s no easy way to go about it, but inviting nieces/nephews but not children of cousins is a thing that’s done, for various reasonable reasons. Either way, you did right. Enjoy your trip!

“the question of the etiquette surrounding whether or not to let kids come to your wedding...there’s no one correct answer.”

In significantly less imortant news, I can’t fucking wait for this country’s current beard obsession to pass. Enough already.

Yeah, re: the lake scene. I was alone in my apartment but still looking around like “What? Is anyone else seeing this?

OMG

Ugh, I had a horrible experience with one of those “We’re being loud? It’s a bar/club/concert/festival, everyone’s being loud!” people at a concert before. Bro behind me—who clearly wasn’t into the artist I’d paid dearly to see and probably won tickets by burping his ABC’s for a Top 40 radio station or something—was…

Oh, he definitely made it much sadder, especially in that it showed how little she felt she really deserved because everything he was doing for her was so surprising to her.

Right?! Is he not the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen??!?!? I looked through every cast member from that episode’s imdb page and couldn’t find anything. Current theories: CGI, mystical apparition, or he showed up on set on a dare and no one asked him to leave because no one wanted him to.

Yeah, aside from the rape scenes, which were serious business, that aspect of the flashback had my eyes rolling pretty hard. Like, I could suspend my belief enough to pretend that Manning was playing her teenage self, but not paired with a fucking Abercrombie model who was all about Her Pleasure*. I appreciate what…

I thought LeAnne and Norma both had entertaining—if not realistic—back stories, but good god, the Norma worship circle annoyed me to no end. Anyone else? Maybe it was just because I binge-watched the season over a few days, but they seemed to have the same argument in every episode, and it all seemed very clunky and…

Sweet god, I love it when social conservatives attempt humor. They just can’t do it right at all and it’s a treat to watch.