If Turkey really wanted to lock Kanter up, a simple pump fake would probably do the trick. 

The only thing I terrorize is the rim

Gregg Williams is a bounty of bad takes.

People from Chicago have otherworldly luck. "According to Jim" got eight seasons, for fuck's sake!

It’s actually good.

Today’s consumers want to live the brand as much as consume it

Maybe someone could check his Collar ID.

I can’t decide if the appropriate continuation of the Caps’ miserable history is to lose game 7 in the conference finals or to lose in the Cup finals.

There’s no defense for what Erdogan is doing to Kanter. And if there’s anything Kanter understands, it’s that.

It’s probably LaVar Ball you idiot

I love Embiid.

This is the best outcome, really.

Rooting for the C’s to pick Ball and have his dad stonewall the deal

“I don’t think anybody should tank”

Coworkers, I don’t have the power to fire them but that won’t stop me trying to anyway.

IT’S LIKE A CONTRARIAN HIPSTER SPORTS TAKE MEETS DR. SEUSS BOOK

the “and what not” is what really fucking sells it

Speaking of human sexuality courses: a friend had a class at UT with Vince Young and when the professor asked one day for people’s ideas of foreplay, Vince said “that’s like sucking on titties and what not”

Yeah, I saw that too. I guess I was just looking for something more specific, like a quote from Brigham Young about Satan’s sick outlet passes or something.