You're from Parts Unknown? What's it like there?

I hope the ropes of heavens ring can handle what's coming.

Any fan who thought the large beer was a better deal and shelled out $7 for the 20 oz. beer instead of paying $8 for two 16 oz. deserves what they got.

As some kind soul explained elsewhere, bookmark this link instead of deadspin.com:

http://deadspin.com/?tiger=off

What the fuck is this abortion of a comment system?

"God told him to stay at the airport and don't do anything, just stay there."

Actually, he's eating them all himself. In a few hours, he plans to get in some good runs.

Hmm, maybe they could make it out of wood or concrete next time and put some wheels on the bottoms of their snowboards or something.

BoC: Excuse me, waiter, I'll have an Arnold Palmer.

Dear strong bad ....

someone had left an indeterminate amount of semen on the sheets of the second bed, and those sheets had been taken away for cleaning, and hadn't come back.

[HIGH FIVES]
-lithium atom, sodium atom

"Those aren't thugs! They're goons!"

Personally I find the Fertittas to be a little warmed over and crusty, so I'll just try the scrambled eggs and a side of bacon. Can I substitute a fruit bowl for the hashbrowns? Thanks.

"Alexis has a testicle like this."

Is it any surprise that the BBW Association of America would hand down a heavy penalty?

I heard that he's also not allowed into BBWAA's official AOL chat room. They take shit like this very seriously.

How could you not know Polk High's greatest football achievement?

For those who don't know (this includes me, I had to ask)

Listen, I’m a rules guy too. But technically there aren’t any rules against turning over your Hall of Fame vote to the fans. And quite frankly it made the whole voting process a lot more exciting. Look at all the attention the Hall of Fame is getting right now. If somewhere down the road they change the rules and…