Gregg Popovich is the cranky old uncle who on your 18th birthday gives you the best advice you will ever hear in your lifetime, something that you will carry in your heart for the rest of your days.

Bill Belichick is the cranky old uncle who loses you in a card game with heroin dealers.

I must be odd because I loved the “red matter” concept. He didn’t explain it, it was just red stuff that blew up a planet. Cool.

It won’t, and I don’t say that because I have any preternatural cognition. Disney made a substantial investment when purchasing Lucasfilm. They haven’t recouped that money. They chose the people they chose because they wanted a “sure thing” and if it wasn’t right and wasn’t going to be amazing then they would have…

Is it a mistake that we named our first kid Deen, then?

... To prove that, somehow, both teams lost in that trade.

“Keep distracting them NFC East while I shit the bed over here.”

Alternate Fox News Headline:

If you go by the standard metric system prefixes, it would take 1 million microaggressions to equal one aggression.

I’ve added “microaggression” to the list of words I’d like to see banished from the English language.

Goodness, why would anyone possibly think that “Camptown Lady” was racist?

Christ, Harvard really is insufferable in every imaginable way.

It’s all Wlad’s neighbour’s fault, the guy that was in the Funbag this week.

“I have never felt more justified making my mom cry when I ripped into her for sending some stupid meme of a kid taking a piss.”

eh your kid’s not that cute

I agree — and, in fact, I think this lawsuit is just going to add fuel to the fire for folks who have been claiming the whole time that this was a manipulative plot to get attention politically and/or extract money.

Yeah! Bankrupt the school district! Down with schools!

Fuck that. This was the best thing that ever happened to this kid, and he was in no way ‘damaged’ to the point of 15 million dollars.

“My prediction? Pain.”

A roommate of mine and myself found ourselves on our own

It is pretty messed up that they would air the documentary without his consent.