“This story is stranger, and sadder, than it initially appears.”

I’m Canadian and you have far too many states that start with I and M

You’re a hit at parties, no?

It is. And I’m a crapy tipest.

Look at Bill Gates over here with a keyboard.

I have literally called them the “N.E.S.” and the “S.N.E.S.” my entire life. It boggles my mind that you’d call them anything else.

Well that would make his opinion null and void. People from the UK don’t even know how to correctly pronounce the letter z or spell the word color. 

Buffalo is at least close to known fun city Toronto, and you are guaranteed 3 road games in New York, Miami and Boston which are fun enough destinations (A little shaky with Boston, but it’s better than Cincinnati, Baltimore or Pittsburgh). Your first goal as a Brown should be getting off the Browns. Any port in a…

No, I mean I’m pretty sure it is still better than Buffalo > Cleveland. 

Imagine being an adult and being mad that you didn’t get an Ezekiel Elliot autograph at a fantasy football convention.

He’s been playing in the Eastern Conference all along?

As a Buffalo graduate, I approve this comment.

Very surprised at the outcome, since Bryan struck me as someone whose wife hadn’t fucked him for a long time.

“Why not an axe?”

One of my favorite votes I’ve ever cast! Fuck this guy.

Ah yes. Washington and Vegas. The Stanley cup final everyone predicted.

This is good stuff.

Goddammit yes “defense attorney” is what I meant. This fucking day.

But also, keep in mind what rape trials were like for victims in the 80s and 90s. The lawyers would dig up every single thing you’ve ever done, make things up, and do anything in their power to look like a worthless, degenerate slut, to the whole country. It was really bad.

HOW IS THERE ONLY ONE DIP!?