Every advancement in snow skiing over the last 2 decades is because of snowboards. Twin tips? Parabolics? Non-fucktard clothing? Ahhhahaha just kidding, no I’m not.

To be clear, the skier’s mistake was tossing the boarder when the lift was that close to the ground.

I assume he’s under a bridge somewhere, teaching JaMarcus Russell how to make tomato soup with ketchup packets and hot water.

Cool move by those franchises, bet they’re thinking “it will be so much easier to ask for public funds for upgrades/new facilities now”

Minimal punctuation; he’s like Ernest Hemingway. After he shot himself in the head.

unlike weed you would need to smoke a whole “blunt” of it to get high

Not a single comma. That put holes in my brain.

The crazy thing is that every smartphone has at least TWO calculators on it now (the built in calculator app and google/search engine, and maybe a 3rd in siri or google now). I immediately knew that the math of the meme was wrong (because I not only graduated elementary school, but also middle school, high school,…

My mom forwarded me this facebook-meme-math-catasrophe. I called the police and now she is safely behind bars for the rest of her rotten life.

Greatest turf on show.

It’s a good thing Ditka’s father used corporal punishment. Otherwise that guy might have turned into some kind of asshole.

Time spent searching for ideological consistency (or consistency, period) in/around/remotely close to the NFL would’ve been better spent financial planning for your Powerball winnings.

Until you directly declared that the race card was on the table, I had no idea it was there.

Are you saying Eisenhower couldn’t hit a curveball?

Talking about Peyton Manning and HGH would take away from the time he had set on his crusade to ban players from jumping.

Quick: think of a time when you thought “damn, that was a good call by Jim Nantz.” He has been lucky to spend his career next to such lightning rods for stupidity as Phil Simms and Billy Packer.

At Louisville he would have been sent to bed without his hooker.

That fence needs a fresh coat of water seal.

It was so clearly no good.

Jim Nantz; the manila folder of sports reporting.