If this story doesn’t just blow over, all Manning needs to do to quash it is sit down with a friendly reporter and tell his side of the story—the side where he was just just a cocky, jerkoff kid who didn’t understand the way the world really worked (hey, haven’t we all been there?) but through the years and the grace…

I think my favorite part of all this Manning drama is that the networks are afraid to report on it much since they all want to hire him as a broadcaster.

As a born Tennesseean, I fully believe Fulmer's denial that he said that. There's no way he'd be able to form a complete sentence that involved that many words.

hated to star that, but there really wasn’t any choice in the matter.

She said she felt dizzy when she stood and had to be stretchered out of the hotel.

He really is an offensive lineman.

I ... what is the relevance of the color of her skin or who she dated?

I don’t think bigots are reknowned for relying on the facts.

At one point I noticed the voice actor for Ryder sounded like he was hitting puberty hard, which is probably why they threw him into Adventure Bay. Also, pretty sure Zuma drives some sort of boat or hovercraft. And now I’m off to stick my head in the oven for knowing this shit.

This thing is not ok

Took me at least three reads to conclude that he was talking about his kids, not (a) about a threesome or (b) maintaining a few girls on the side.

So like lemme preface this by saying I really only come to Deadspin to make stupid jokes and sometimes make fun of the Gawker crowd and also to be like “Hey guys remember when this was just a vanity project for Will ‘The Man From Mattoon’ Leitch? Did he ever get to be grand marshal of the Bagel Days Parade?” But when…

It’s probably “tradition” - passed down for generations. The fathers and coaches are perhaps wondering what the fuss is all about.

Did I just get lucky and not go to a school with psychopaths? What the hell is this shit?

The first thing to die will (and should) be peewee and/or Pop Warner football.

No worries: Some shitforbrains is already in with ‘nobody put a gun to his head/he knew the risks’ tomfuckery. Yes: I’m sure as an eleven-year-old boy in 1999, Tyler performed a thorough risk/reward assessment on post-NFL CTE-induced physical and psychological impairment.

The University of Missouri Law Enforcement division released a statement as well, stating they will not rest until they find a black student to arrest for providing the cocaine.

Looks like we found Vodka Samm... and she’s off the wagon

Or, as I like to call them: deadlifts for old people. I’m 46 and at about 40 I discovered that if I wanted to keep lifting, doing what he’s doing in the video makes sense. The bar doesn’t go all the way down to my chest while benching anymore, either.

This is not discrimination against women.