He gave an interview recently complaining that he's lonely because he spent years chasing tail and now wants to settle down, but shockingly no 19 year-old wants to change his diapers and remind him to take his heart pills.

Clearly, Joe C. was the brains of that operation.

I sure hope that's Brown 1, not Brown 2.

I wonder if Lisa Lampinelli still likes to have sexual intercourse with African-American gentlemen. I hope that subject gets addressed at some point during the roast.

Also, his daughter is Mary Harron, who directed AMERICAN PSYCHO.

Except UNITED STATES OF TARA.

I used to listen, but it too often descended into "Look how loud I can yell about this bad movie!"

If they include the musical guest segments, you'd actually be getting some good stuff. Prince, James Brown, Todd Rundgren, the cast of the Pirates of Penzance…

"See, MOM? I told you!"

Victoria Jackson, Dennis Miller, Rob Schneider, and Joe Piscopo.

In my day, we had Charles Rocket and Ann Risley. THESE were real comedians.

I can't wait for the 40th anniversary special; I haven't seen the same 15 clips they show from the 70s era since the 25th anniversary special. Oooh, do you think they'll show "Land Shark"?

I hope there's the chance to do coke with a hologram Belushi. Or a real Belushi, if Jim's not busy.

You beat Dexy's Midnight Runners!

For all the latest medical poop, call Surgeon General C. Everett Koop.

But that would require ignoring mountains of Simpson DNA evidence. And that would be just nutty.

http://www.dameednafarewell…

That's right. I think words I would never say.

"I can't remember the last time we did this."

Oh yeah? Well, what did Bill CLINTON's TV wife have to say?