I don't know why anyone but the people involved should care about whether a proposal is on Valentine's Day or not.

Maybe Jezebel is starting a new weekly column: Who Wrote it Best?

Two butts were involved?

I won first prize in the 3rd grade "Reflections" arts contest for a really nice pastel sketch I did of my mom's Christmas cactus. Should I....send that ribbon onto Beyonce out of respect for art? Or do I get to keep it?

CALLING IT: this is my and my daughter's 2015 Halloween costume.

Be right back, I'm ordering like a dozen boxes immediately. Who'll join me?!?!

This looks reads less 'sexy' and more 'the face you make when someone you thought was cool says something real racist and you're like "wtf"'

Yep. "You're goddamn right. Now you can continue not billing me because you're giving me cable and internet for free." would have been my response.

If that happened to me, I'd just leave it.

honestly, I would speak to your dad about this.

I have a polite, cordial relationship with my dad's wife. I pray to God that he outlives her. He had a sudden life threatening health event and was hospitalized recently for 2 days. She did not call me. She called her kid, her sister, her friends. She did not bother to inform his only daughter that her father…

I literally ran into Rihanna once in a Starbucks back in 2011 in LA. So I was ordering 4 iced coffees and they were in a drink carrier. I was in a hurry too. So as im rushing to turn around and head out the door, bam! I run into Rihanna and spill two of the iced coffees on her. I didn't realize at first it was her or…

I am grey so am hoping my head-hanging story will go unnoticed. But I still want to put it out there. It is one of those.

I don't think I've ever received a reply from Jezebel but here goes:

It's too late to edit, but I just remembered that P. Diddy and his entourage almost knocked me over when I was walking stilts one time.

The most interesting part of the story to me is that Carrie Fisher just happened to have an extra McDonalds hamburger to offer to a (relative) stranger on an airplane.

I met Mr. T at the 1993 Chicago Comic Con. He was there promoting his (short-lived) new comic book, Mr. T and the T-Force. I drove to the convention with some friends from Detroit and my sister, who loaned me the cash to attend the Con, insisted that I get her Mr. T's autograph in lieu of repayment.

This is crazy. I mean, when I think back, it doesn't seem real. Keep reading, I think it's worth it. My mom's stepbrother, with whom she never really had a relationship, was an ad exec for NBC. He happened to be in town because NBC had the Superbowl that year, which happened to be in the city where we lived at the…

This is not insane.
This was completely awesome.
My sister got Andrew W.K. to officiate her wedding.

Have mercy.