Dude clearly belongs in jail. However, at around 4 seconds, it does look like she pushed him from behind, although he clearly had no idea who it was. And, as I said, clearly no excuse for anything he did. 

I’ll send y’all a case of durian fruit. :) 

I thought I read somewhere that they get a credit on next year’s cap of $14m due to Bell not signing this year. Is that correct? If so, then AB’s cap hit really is only $7m.

Wrong. Jesus’s car had a badge, he just didn’t talk about it. John 12:49

wouldn’t he actually be walking on his hands?

Houston Craigslist ad but car is in Miami -- seems like they might be desperate to unload this.

someone should have thrown a bucket of water on them

But the Camaro is ugly as fuck and the Vette actually is a good looking car.

Even more horrible given the season, wherein we celebrate a fictional character who watches over us all, keeps naughty and nice lists, and grants our wishes if we ask hard enough and are deserving.

Qualified immunity doctrine makes that difficult.

“I think it’s a bit unfair to call a guy with Alzheimer’s a dumbass.“

Within minutes, Amex was calling and texting about a suspected fraudulent charge for $211 to Hickory Farms.

Also, we’re America’s brain, and heart

Glad to see good old Albert following the path charted by his predecessor, Peter the suck-up.

I’ve heard “Jesus, take the wheel” before, but never have I heard “Jesus, please help sell my F150.”

If someone walks around holding a sign that says “look at me,” then I can look at her and have the right to express my opinion that she’s a dipshit.  Unfortunately, the mom here decided to force her child to walk around holding that sign - no, the child should not be ridiculed as she had no part in the decision-making…

At least SC and Akron are both FBS teams. Have you not heard about Iowa State v. Drake (the Bulldogs, not the singer). 

I’ve been told a relative has in her class a student named Hijkmno. How is that pronounced? Noel.

You don’t think people named John don’t already have numerous jokes made about their name and toilets, urination, defecation, etc.?

He drives a Leaf — give him a break.