They would still be funny Tumi. 

Assuming he also matches his suspect profile on Wikipedia:

Melania Trump has been dressed for a funeral all week, if you ask me.

I’m dead.

I’m glad to just be a non-celebrity boring midwest mom because I fall for that “it’s a bunch of women and we share experiences and support each other” crap all the time. But in my world, it just means I get stuck going to a lot of MLM parties rather than being recruited for a sex cult. Although to be honest, I’d…

Shoot, I thought he was in his 40s and she was in her early 30s.

Dustin Johnson. But that is why he got suspended.

And technically, bullshit is stool.

“Nobody’s lookin’ at you. I promise.”

What if the weed made me invisible?!

I didn’t find an article, so I was unable to come :(

They’ve never known joy, that’s why. Only need and greed.

Ho is it possible that none of the male Trumps have learned to smile properly in a picture? The all force their faces into some goofy rictus that makes it look like they’ve just made an enormous dump in their pants

KGB recording devices are stream-activated.

*clicks record*

as Davis pointed out to NPR, football players can do what they damn please.

No matter what people think of Comey, Trump’s meltdown tomorrow morning will be hilarious.

It’s the equivalent of making a kid who defiantly peed in his own bed sleep in it. And you know - he might not be wrong.

I can see how it was a genuinely horrible position for him to be in. There was a very real possibility from where he was standing that he could end up in a situation where he kept quiet about the fact that they were pursuing new leads, and then have those leads lead to real results (we know now, of course, that they…

That and making such major announcement as if he’s the main spokesman is a huge insult and a bad stain on the distinguished service and history from the FBI. He was totally wrong on both count in the summer and fall of ‘16 and deserved to be fired.

Comey’s response to why he reopened the email investigation is woefully inadequate. What he’s telling us is that if he didn’t think Hilary was going to win, then the case wouldn’t have been reopened, which indicates that pursuing justice wasn’t his motivation.