CNN Host: When will this god damn bad news stop coming at me.

I knew there was no way either Dion Waiters or Kevin Durant were gonna be cheering for New England after Belichick did Malcolm Butler wrong like that. Service industry types gotta stick together, y’know?

It didn’t even cross my mind that it *wasn’t* supposed to say fucktomb until I saw that.

I remember when the Giants won the WS in 2010. My dad cried. I looked over and asked if he was ok. Tears in his eyes he said, “I just really wish your great uncle Tony was here to see this right now.”

He probably tells his tailor he’s 6'3.

“Hotel and a pool.”

Be fair. The grease is still doing a better job covering their man than anyone on the Pats secondary tonight

That awning was strong AF. It took like 2 dozen morons to make that shit collapse.

Giselle, 2012: “My husband cannot fucking throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time.”

Tom Brady: somehow the one white guy on the Pats who *can’t* catch a pass

There is now

Congratulations, Detroit. You have just hired the DC who lost the Super Bowl despite the fact that his own team never punted.

Well, that means they are going to have to ship all those Patriots Super Bowl Champions t-shirts somewhere in the third world, like South Boston.

Holy fuck. Nunes just said he didn’t read any of the documents that the memo is based on. Said his buddy Trey Gowdy (who just conveniently announced retiring today, btw, and who ALSO said today that the memo doesn’t affect Mueller/Rosenstein at all) did all the homework. Holy fuck, this memo shit cannot get any…

You need to stop insisting on shallots as restaurant’s secret ingredients. It is butter, butter, and more butter.

It’s amazing what deciding to retire allows you to say in today’s GOP.

Where did I say she can’t do all those things?

The goal of this memo and everything else the GOP/Fox has been doing for the last year re: Uranium and Seth Rich and everything else isn’t to get something to stick, it’s to create so much noise that whatever Mueller uncovers will be just another blip on the screen and they’ll have cover for ignoring it. I’d love…

And slenderman gets off scot free again , damn justice system.

Since the victim is not deceased, does this mean she cannot technically acknowledge the crime. Or does she have to pretend the victim is deceased. Cause that is what got her in trouble in the first place.